Harley's cancer
by kelvant
Summary: Joey and Pacey are married what happens when they find out their daughter has cancer


Joey and Pacey are married with a Harley (4) and Josh (6) what happen when the find out the little girl has Cancer

Joey said, " Are you ready yet you lot? We have to be in Capeside by this afternoon Pacey said " 2 minutes Harley has to get dressed" "I'll do it," said Joey walking into the room "Pace make sure Josh is ready "Fine" (walking out) "Mommy where we going" asked Harley. "Auntie Bessie is that OK" said Joey. "Yea" replied Harley kissing her face"Joshua Michael Witter are you ready yet" Pacey shouted at his son "Dad do I have to go" "Yeah" replied Pacey. "Why? "Asked Josh " Remember we talked about Harley and her going in to hospital" said Pacey. "OK dad I'll go to help Harley" "I love you Josh" "Yea I know" he replied.

"Pace grab Josh and meet me at the car" Said Joey and Harley and went down to the car, then Pacey came down with Josh.

Then they started to drive to Capeside Pacey was just out of NY when he looked in the mirror and seen both his kids were asleep. He then look at his wife who was asleep too.

**Capeside**

Potter House

Pacey carried his sleeping daughter inside  
"Where can I stick this princess Bess" "You can put her in Joey's old room for now" answered Bessie Josh came running in "Auntie Bessie where is Alex? " "On the dock fishing" she replied  
"Can I go their dad?" he said looking at Pacey. "5 minutes we have to empty the car first (coming in carrying a big bag) "Look Pace I'll take him and you and Jo unpack" " Thanks Bess  
Josh and Bessie ran out the door pasted Joey?  
"Where is he going?" she asked "Dock with Alex" he replied  
"OK, Where is Harley?" "In the Bedroom asleep"  
"Fine Pace I might go and lie down too I'm tired" "OK Sweetheart" (lightly kissing her on the lips)

Dawson's Dock  
Dawson talking to Jen  
"Joey is back in Capeside today" "I know you told me that already" "I wonder what she looks like I haven't seen her is about 6 Years" "She will still be the same Joey Dawson" "Maybe she sound different on the phone" 

Later that night Pacey and Joey decided to have a walk down town with Harley and Josh on Pacey shoulders.  
Across the road Dawson saw them and just glazed for a minute at the loving family he saw in front of him. Pacey laughing and smiling at Josh and Joey talking to her son. He decided to leave the family be FOR NOW!

**Next Day**

Pacey and Joey decided they needed to face the world so they decide to walk to the Icehouse  
"Jo don't worry you look fine" "Pace your biased you're just saying that because you love me "Are you sure your ready" he asked "Better now than never"  
Pacey took Harley they decide to take the kids to meet everyone and it wouldn't be so hard

Ice House

"Jen she said meet her here at 1" Dawson said looking at his watch)  
"She'll be here"  
Just then Pacey and Joey walked in  
"Hey you two" said Jen "Hey Jen, D sorry we're late it's what happens when you have kids" said Pacey "How you been" asked Dawson "Fine" replied Pacey looking slightly at Joey.  
"Who are these little guys then?" Jen said looking down at the little boy. "This is Josh he is 6" Joey said pointing at her son "Whose that mom" he asked.  
"That's auntie Jen and that Uncle Dawson" she said pointing at them. "And this is my princess Harley" Pacey said as he sat down "They are so cute Jo" said Jen  
"Jo you want a coffee" asked Pacey. "Please baby, where are the kids drinks" she replied smiling  
"Jo In the bag" looking in the bag,  
"How are you Dawson" Joey said as put Harley down next to her. "Fine I didn't know you had 2 kids" "So where is Jack any how" Pacey said as he sat down "He is in Italy with Andie" replied Jen "Dad can I have an ice cream please" asked Josh "Yeah 1 second let me get some money"  
At that moment Dawson spoke up "Pace I get them" taking out money  
Dawson handed Josh his ice cream and Pacey unwrapped it  
"So Pace how does it feel being a dad" asked Dawson. "Great it is the best feeling in the world" he replied looking at Joey and Jen sitting talking with Harley.

Harley got up and walked around the table and sat on her daddy's lap  
Dawson's watch's as she gives her dad a big cuddle. He look at Joey as much to say what "Daddy's girl" "Really" "If I don't let her have it she goes to her dad and she get it, he is too soft" "Am not" he protested. "So you didn't let her have a new doll last week and Josh got a new Knicks top too." Joey argued "Pacey soft that's a first" said Jen "Well he is my son and she is my little princess and she has Joey's pout it is impossible to resist" he said smiling  
Dawson to Josh "so you like the Knicks then" "Yeah my dad takes me to games" said Josh "It's a bonding session," said Pacey. "I like the LA Lakers more" laughed Dawson "No way"  
"Don't get him started he had a fight with Gretchen boyfriend last week over the Bulls" said Joey "So where is she living now" asked Dawson. "Chicago with a boyfriend we went up there last week with the kids" Pacey replied "Auntie Gretch is fun" Harley whispered sleepily  
"She is nice with the present's to I think it's a Witter thing" Joey laughed  
"From Gretch Josh got a new basketball and Harley got a princess costume" said Pacey.  
"So what new with you Dawson" Joey asked "Well I back in Capeside have been for few months now my show is doing well and I can run things from here as I trust all my staff"  
"Jen how about you" asked Pacey "Well I live in Capeside with Jack and work at the local school as classroom assistant" she replied  
Pacey look downs and notices his daughter was asleep in his arms  
"Just like her mother sleeps through anything" he said "Bite me Pace" "Any time Jo" "We better go soon Josh looks tired too" Joey said looking at her son  
Pacey picked up Josh in his arms and Joey took Harley from Pacey  
"We'll talk to you soon," said Joey "Bye Jo, Pace" said Dawson.

After they had left Dawson and Jen started talking  
"She seem happy Harley looks just like her and Josh is Pacey" "Yeah with the attitude too"  
"Wonder why their back in Capeside all of a sudden" "Don't know but I am going to find out"

Potter House  
Joey was putting Harley in bed Pacey walked into the room  
"Pace do you think they knew anything was up" she said as she start to get ready for bed.  
"I don't know be you know we have to tell them soon"  
"Yeah I know," she said leaning in to Pacey's chest  
"Just look at her she is so perfect why is this happening to us" he said looking at his daughter sleeping "I know sweetheart our little baby with Acute Lymphoblastic leukaemia" said Joey looking down too.

**Next Day**

Potter House  
"Harley Lillian Witter get your bum back here now," Pacey said as his daughter ran off laughing half-naked "Problem" Joey laughed "No it just our daughter thinks it's funny to run around instead of getting dressed" "OK Josh is dressed he is going with Alex and Bess to Boston" said Joey  
"OK 1 down 1 to go" he said running after his daughter  
Just then Dawson walked in  
"Hi Jo what's going on there" looking at Pacey running around  
"Harley don't want to get dressed it nothing unusual we have this nearly everyday" "OK"  
"I can get her dressed but she has a habit of taking her clothes off"  
Dawson laughed "Do you want to go for a walk?" Dawson asked "1 minute I better check on Pacey first"

Joey walks in to the bedroom where Pacey is getting his daughter dressed  
"See she will get dressed cause she's daddies little angel" ticking Harley's belly  
"Pace Dawson has asked me to go out for a walk with him" "Jo you can go if you want"  
"I'm scared he'll ask lots of questions" "Jo if it helps take Harley"  
She kissed him "Thanks I don't know what I would do without you" Pacey to Harley "you want to go with mommy and Uncle Dawson for a walk" "Yup Daddy" She whispers kissing him

Joey came out of the bedroom  
"I can go but Harley wants to come too" "Of course longs she keeps her clothes on," he said laughing  
Pacey came out of the room carrying his daughter  
Dawson to Harley – Hey there princess you look pretty in that dress  
Harley just look at him and laughed  
"She has your sense of humour then Pace" Dawson said

Joey and Dawson walking along the road with Harley  
"So Jo tell me about the last 6 years" "Well Josh was born I pick his name it means 'god is my salvation' and then we got married as you know" "Sorry I couldn't come we had filming problems" he said. "It's OK we have pictures Josh was only 3 months old so in nearly every picture he is in my arms. Then a year later I found out I was pregnant again this time with madam here (looking at her daughter)  
I picked her name there is a funny story behind that "Pacey wanted a motorbike but then I found out I was pregnant after she was born. Pace said guess the motorbike's out the window I said what if we name her Harley she can be the memory of what you would have got had she not been born. Plus it was the name of the professor daughter in college and that dance at her school was when I realised I still had feelings for Pacey." "So what was labour like (Dawson said trying hard to joke)"Hurt like hell but the end result is worth it" (looking at Harley again who was now asleep.  
"You want a coffee Jo" "Yeah sure" she replied "So other that have kids what you been up to" Dawson asked. "I write and paint I can do that from home so, don't need childminders which is a good thing"

Joey's Phone rings  
"Hello" "It's me" "Gretchen where are you?" "I'm 3 hours away from Capeside I know you were moving there this weekend and I need someone to talk to me and Paul had a fight and I walked out got in my car and drove." "OK call me when you get 20 miles out we are at my sisters" "OK Jo don't tell Pace just yet as he will go mad" "I wont Gretch you know me." "Bye Jo" "Bye Gretch"

Joey looks Dawson who is in shock. "What?" (Looking at his face) "So when did you and Gretchen became close?" Dawson asked. Joey replied "We have always been close just the past few years we tell each other everything she was there the day I found out I was pregnant. She was there the day Josh was born, my wedding; the day after Harley was born." "Sorry I didn't know" said Dawson

Just then Harley started to stir rubbing her eyes  
"Mommy (she whispered) "Hey Baby you want to get out and sit on mommy's lap" (picking her up)  
"Sweetie you want some juice" Joey said pulling the cup out of her bag" "Yea" (taking the cup) "Don't drink it so fast baby" Joey said to Harley  
Dawson could only sit there and smile at his best friend for years talk to her little girl  
"Sorry Dawson you must be bored it just after a nap she has to have drink like her dad I guess"  
"I'm not bored Jo it's just lovely watching you with her"

Joey looks at her watch  
"You want to walk back with us as I better get back"  
Joey stood up Harley in her arms went to put her down to walk and "No me you" said Harley cuddling into Joey "Normal she is this clingy with Pacey especially after she has just woken up"  
"So Pacey is good with her" said Dawson "He is the best she is his little princess" replied Joey "What about Josh?" asked Dawson "Josh is more for me but still has "bonding session" with Pacey Josh likes art and is smart for his age top in the class" said Joey "Brainy little boy"

As they arrived at thePotter's Joey put Harley down so she could walk  
"Watch this" Joey said looking at Dawson.  
Dawson looked on Pacey came out and Harley came running up to him and he picked her up and gave her a big hug and spinning her around "Daddy" she said  
"Wow" said Dawson as he looked on "Everytime we go anywhere without Pace she can't wait to get home to him (Joey said as she walked up and kissed him) "How's she been" asked Pacey. Joey Replied "asleep then woke up had a drink then came home."  
"OK why don't you and me go inside and watch TV Har" "Yea daddy"  
Pacey and Harley walked inside  
"I better get going see ya soon" Dawson said turning to walk away "Bye Dawson" whispered Joey

Joey's phone rang  
"Hey"  
"Jo meet me at the ice house in 20 minutes come alone" "You make it sound bad but OK"  
Joey hangs up

" Pace I going out for a while watch the Harley for me"  
"Sure sweetie" (he said ruffling his daughter hair and laughing at the TV)

Ice House  
Gretchen is sitting outside with an ice tea when Joey's walks up  
"Hey Gretch" Joey said hugging her "Hi Jo"  
"So what's so bad you don't want Pacey to know" "Paul and me had a fight," said Gretchen "What about" said Joey concerned. "He said, "I don't love you Gretchen your always in New York your never with me" "The btad" Joey said angrily "So I said but my niece has cancer"  
"Jo you're my best friend as well my sister-in- law how do I tell Pacey" (she said with a worried look) "I think I have a plan just tell Pace that Paul walked out on you" she replied "You think that will work," asked Gretchen. "He's your brother you tell me," said Joey "He's your husband" (they looked at each other and burst out laughing) "Lets go make Pacey day," said Joey

Potter House  
Joey walks in closely followed by Gretchen  
"Pace" said Joey softly looking around for him; Joey looked down and seen Pacey with Harley on his lap fast asleep. She waved Gretchen into the kitchen  
"That's my brother sleep in time of crisis"  
"So you seen Dawson yet?" Gretchen questioned "I was having coffee with him when you called and no I ain't told him yet I don't know how to" she said almost crying  
"How she been" Gretchen asks "Fine sleep a lot lately doctors say "it's normal" just tell me how to tell one of my best friends my baby has Leukaemia (she starts crying)  
Gretchen comes over and hugs her Pacey wakes up when he hears the cries  
"Jo" (he looks over and is shock to see Gretchen there) "Gretch what you doing here"  
"Paul kicked me out and I have no where else really to go and I knew you were moving here this weekend" (he walked over and give her a hug). Just then they hear a little voice "Mommy daddy" (Harley cries) Joey runs over to her "What's wrong baby "(picking her up)"Me feel sick" Pacey comes over with a bowl  
Gretchen just looks on knowing this is a normal thing in their lives

Later Bessie Alex and Josh come back Gretchen is sitting at the table Josh walked over to her  
"Auntie Gretchen why you here" (hugging her)  
"Long story" "Gretchen I'm surprised to see you where's Jo and Pacey" asked Bessie  
"In the bedroom Harley was sick and they are sitting with her"  
"OK tell them I'll take Alex and Josh to the icehouse for dinner" Bessie told her  
"Thanks I think it will mean a lot to Jo" said Gretchen

Gretchen heard a loud knock on the door she looked towards the bedroom door then answered the door  
"Gretchen" "Dawson" they said looking at each other  
Dawson asked "what you doing here" "Came to see Joey and Pacey you?" said Gretchen  
"Came to see Jo she left quickly earlier and wondered if she wanted to come for a walk"  
"She and Pacey are in the bedroom Harley was sick and they are seeing to her" she replied  
Joey walked out of the bedroom "Gretch who's at the door" (rubbing her eyes just waking up)  
"Dawson what you doing here" noticing Dawson standing there "Wanted to know if you want to come out with me" Dawson asked Pacey appeared from the bedroom with Harley in his arms "what's all the noise Har and me are trying to sleep"  
Joey said "Dawson want to go for a walk with me you want to come sweetheart" looking deep into Pacey eyes. Gretchen said "don't worry I look after Harley I know what to do (smiling at Pacey)  
Pacey passed Harley to Gretchen she lent her head into her shoulder  
Joey kissed Harley on the head and said "don't worry mommy and daddy won't be long stay with auntie Gretchen yea baby" Harley replied quietly "yea mommy"

They left the house  
"So Gretchen said Harley was sick earlier"  
Pacey put his arm around Joey knowing they were going to tell Dawson  
"Dawson I don't know how to tell you this it isn't exactly an easy thing to say" Pacey said trying to find the words. "What you two you know you can tell me anything" Dawson said  
Pacey softly said, "Harley is sick she has leukaemia  
"No" Dawson said lightly (he felt his heart break his two best friends were telling him their little girl has cancer) "when did you find out" (not knowing what to say)  
"3 weeks ago only Bessie and Gretchen know. She starts chemo and we just take one day at a time cause one day she is fine like last night the next day she is ill like this afternoon. (Pacey pulled her close cause he knew it was heartbreak to talk about) The reason we're in Capeside is cause we are thinking of buying a house here it's close to Bess and she is great when it come to Josh, we can then be at the hospital with Harley. She still has months if not years of treatment ahead of her" (at this point she was in tears)  
"Jo why didn't you tell me sooner" "We didn't want to tell anyone over the phone Gretchen and Bessie have both come to New York" said Jo  
"Look Dawson not to be rude but can we talk about this tomorrow Joey and I want to get back we hate leave Harley when she is sick" "of course call me and let me know Pace do you want me to tell Jen" " If you can just tell her we'll explain in good time"  
With that Pacey and Joey left for home.

Potter House  
They walked in to find Gretchen sitting a the couch with Harley cradled in her arms cuddling her blanket "Hey you two she fell asleep 5 minutes ago Josh is in bed (she said trying not to wake her)Pacey walked over and took Harley out of her arms and said "I put her to bed be right back"  
Joey went and sat next to Gretchen  
"How was it" "you really want to know hard I didn't know what to say as I didn't know how he would react" "I know everyone reacts differently to the news I know I was in shock."  
Pacey came back out "Harley is fast asleep and Josh is asleep too just checked on him"  
"You guys I think I might go to bed too (she got up)  
"OK thanks Gretch"

Pacey came and sat next to Joey  
"Rough day hey" (kissing her) " I'll say"  
She cuddle up to him in to his chest "Pace why did this have to happen to us what did we do wrong" "Jo we did nothing wrong we couldn't of stopped this" kissing her forehead

**Next Day**

Joey felt a tug of the bed covers looked over and notice Pacey was still asleep looked down to see her son smiling back "Hey baby you coming in here with me and daddy" he nodded. She look over at the bed Harley was still asleep as well. Joey hugged her son and fell back to sleep with him in her arms.

Gretchen and Bess were talking  
"Gretchen you seen Josh he ain't in his bed" "He probably will be in there" (pointing at Joey and Pacey's room)."Yeah they think the world of them kids I don't know what they would do if anything happen to them" "I know I sometimes wonder how they cope" "I guess you just have to"

Ice House  
"Dawson why did you get me up at this time of morning" " I found out last night Jo and Pace secret (his face fell) "Dawson it's bad ain't it (he nodded)  
"Joey and Pacey are moving back to Capeside" "that's a good thing"(he shock his head) "because Harley has Leukaemia" "No that poor little girl"(she is crying)  
"Yeah they found out 3 weeks ago" "Why didn't they say anything (wiping her eyes)  
"I think they were scared of how we'd respond. How do you tell your best friends your little girl has cancer? Jo said she's starting treatment soon they want to move to Capeside to be closer to Bess"

Back at the Potter House  
Joey came out of the room hold hand with Josh followed by Pacey carrying Harley  
Pace to Gretchen "How comes you let us sleep so late" "You all look so peaceful cuddled up in that bed" She had peeped in and seen Joey and Pacey with Josh and Harley in the middle with there arms around them. "OK I'll make some breakfast Jo you take her," he said as Josh sat down Joey took Harley from Pacey "So what you lot doing today" Gretchen said to Joey. "We have the hospital with Harley"(stoking her daughter's face)

Capeside Hospital  
Pacey and Joey sat in front of Dr Epson Pacey with Harley on his lap  
The Dr explained "Mr and Mrs Witter I will explain a bit more about 97 of all Leukaemia patients enter into remission after the treatment, which means that no cancer cells can be detected in the blood. Out of the 97, though, two-thirds were fully cured at the conclusion of their final treatment. There was also a 50 chance of relapse after entering into remission.

"The first stage of the treatment is called Remission Induction, and aims to send Harley's Leukaemia into remission, so we can detect no malignant cells in her blood or bone marrow. We will administer Chemotherapy for a few days at a time, combined with a Steroid treatment, and Harley will probably be in hospital for about a month." Pacey grabbed Joey hand. "If Harley is not in remission after this first phase of treatment, we repeat the process until she is, or try a stronger combination of chemotherapy drugs. 70 of cases go into remission during this Induction phase. Even so, a very small number of cancer cells may survive. Although there are too few to pick up in blood or bone marrow tests, without further treatment the Leukaemia is likely to come back. To try to prevent this from happening, we use the next stage of treatment called Consolidation Therapy."

Doctor Epson explained that, "during the Consolidation phase, Harley would continue a less aggressive course of Chemo, possibly Radiation treatment and may need a bone marrow or stem cell transplant, depending on how well new, healthy bone marrow was regenerating within Harley's bones, and how many induction courses of Chemo it took for Harley to go into remission. The third phase of treatment Harley may have to endure would be Maintenance Therapy, during which small amounts of Chemo and Steroid therapy could have to be had for up to two years after Harley had completed the Consolidation Therapy, to lessen the chances of a relapse."

The doctors had allowed her three days at home with her family and friends, before she was to go into hospital indefinitely. On the first day in hospital, she would have to undergo a small operation to insert a central line, through which chemotherapy and any other medicines or fluids could be administered without the pain and discomfort of needles and injections. Two days later she would begin Chemo. Along with the combination of Chemo drugs inserted directly into the central line, she would also be having regular shots of another chemotherapy drug called Methotrexate, directly into her spine. This would rid her of any cancerous cells lurking in her spinal or brain fluid, which could be potentially lethal if untreated.

**Potter House**  
Pacey and Joey had worked out a plan. During the first week or two of the chemo, both Pacey and Joey would be with Harley during the day, and would take it in turns to stay overnight with her, swapping every two or three nights. They knew that this could ultimately place a strain on their relationship, but had discussed it together, and knew that there was nothing that they could do about it – they had to let Harley take priority for the time being. This being said they had certainly made up for the time they were to be spending apart the last couple of nights!

**Harley's first day in hospital**  
The Witter's arrive at the hospital. A short while later, Harley was prepped and wheeled off to surgery. Pacey and Joey walked next to her bed, until they could go no further, and stood with a supportive arm around each other, watching until Harley disappeared from sight. They walked over to some chairs and sat together. What seemed like an eternity later, Pacey and Joey were still waiting for Harley to be brought back from theatre.

A doctor came to a stop in front of Pacey and Joey. He shook their hands.  
"Hi, Mr and Mrs Witter? I'm Doctor Martin. Dr Epson asked me to let you know that the operation was a complete success, and your daughter is in recovery."

Joey felt Pacey slump against her in relief, and she threaded her arm through his. She thanked the doctor, and they made their way through to the recovery ward.  
Harley was asleep, a drip in her hand and a surgical plaster covering the operation site, where a tube now protruded from under her skin – a tube through which poisonous toxins would soon flow, life saving poison. Both Pacey and Joey were by Harley's side when she woke, and both stayed with her until Pacey looked at his watch, and realised it was late.

Reluctantly, Joey agreed to leave Harley and Pacey, and return home to check on Josh. She had wanted to come back, but Pacey made her promise him she would get a good night's sleep and come back in the morning. She gently kissed a sleeping Harley on the forehead, and stroked her hand, before kissing her husband goodbye, and heading off home.

When she pulled up in the driveway, everyone rushed outside to greet her.  
"How is she?" Everyone asked with concern. Pacey had called earlier to tell everyone that Harley was out of surgery, but they hadn't checked in since.  
Joey climbed wearily out of the car and put her arm around Gretchen  
"She's as good as can be expected. She was asleep when I left."

The next day passed reasonably smoothly. Joey had arrived at the hospital in the morning. She had stayed up late, sitting in the lounge with Gretchen, just talking and listening to each other.

The next day was the big day Pacey went home last night cause Harley wanted her mommy.

He entered the Oncology Ward, through the swinging doors which he knew would become very familiar over the next year, and pushed the door to Harley's room open. He was welcomed by his wife and daughter chatting quietly, Harley not letting go of Joey's hand. He smiled at them both as they turned their heads at the sound of the door. "Good morning my gorgeous wife, and my beautiful daughter." He said, as cheerfully as he could, greeting Joey with a kiss, and walking around to give Harley a hug. "How are we this morning?" "Scared daddy" said Harley quietly

There was a knock on the door, and Dr Epson entered, accompanied by a nurse. Both were wearing protective gear, and face masks. Pacey looked at his watch. D-Day. He hadn't realised how quickly the time had past. It was 34 seconds past 9 O'clock, and time for Harley to begin Chemotherapy.

The nurse tried to make small talk with Harley, as she bustled about, hooking up bags of the Cytotoxic drugs to a drip stand, and punching numbers into the monitor, the blue box bleeping back at her as it came to life. Harley didn't trust herself to speak, for fear she might throw up from the nerves that gripped her body, and she didn't want to appear weak and frightened, so she stuck to nodding or shaking her head in reply, teamed with the occasional "Uh huh", or "Uh uh", never once letting go of Joey's hand. Pacey stood behind Joey, hands placed gently on her shoulders, not daring to take his eyes of their daughter.

Before the nurse connected the final tube, the tube that would allow the life saving drugs into Harley's small body. She explained to Joey and Pacey what she was doing, what each bag hanging from the drip stand contained, the anti-nausea drugs that were also being administered, some of the effects she may feel throughout the next few hours, and the importance of keeping her fluids up.

The words washed over Harley like the drone of a distant engine. This was to become routine and she knew it, but the first time was bound to be scary. Harley shook her head slowly when asked if she had any questions, and then watched as Dr Epson checked the drip stand and the bags hanging from it, and nodded to the nurse, who clipped the tube hanging from the stand into the tube which ran straight into Harley's veins. Straight into her body. It was then she realised that she was glad to have the Central Line inserted – it meant not as many painful injections were required.

She was still to have one painful injection, though. Along with the cocktail slowly draining into her body, this first session of Chemo included a shot of Methotrexate, which would kill off any cancer cells that were present in her spinal or brain fluid. This was the thing she had been dreading most. Surely a needle which looked, to Harley, to be the size of a horse tranquilliser, would hurt like hell. She had no time to dwell, as she was rolled onto her side, and her back rubbed with a swab, the coldness making her shiver. Her grip on Joey's hand tightened even more, as Joey saw the fear swimming in her eyes.

Harley cried as the needle punctured her skin, and entered bone; Joey winced as she saw the pain that Harley was in. Pacey tried not to look at the big needle.

The vomiting had started about 9 O'clock that night, Pacey and Joey had both decided to stay as Harley was in a lot of pain and want her mom 1 minute and her dad the next. Pacey ducked out to get a cup of coffees He walked back up the corridor, and pushed open the door. What he saw broke his heart.

Joey was holding the bowl under Harley's chin, and rubbing her back. Harley was vomiting into the bowl with such an extreme force that Pacey was sure she would throw up her internal organs before too long. In between bouts of vomiting, she was sobbing, tears making her hair stick to her face, which Joey was desperately trying to hold back, while balancing the bowl.

The nausea had come on suddenly. Harley had been asleep when Pacey left the room for coffee, and had woken suddenly, screaming Mommy that she was going to be sick. Joey had grabbed the kidney shaped bowl that the nurse had left in the room, and had held it as Harley's body tried to expel the toxins it was being flooded with.

"Be careful," She warned Pacey, "You've got to try not to get any of Harley's bodily fluids – including vomit – on you. It is toxic to us – it has traces of the chemo in it. That's what the doctor said"

The smell was almost unbearable too – the unmistakable smell of the chemo inhabited anything that come out of Harley, and she had begun to complain of the taste in her mouth as well.  
When she felt as though she was finished being sick, Joey helped her brush her teeth, and Pacey got her a glass of water, they both sat either side of her bed holding her hand. Harley had settled back down to sleep, feeling zapped of energy, and with the chemo still draining into her body. She still had another 36 hours of her first dose to go. It was going to be a long night. Joey and Pacey dozed off Joey woke up when she heard Harley "Mommy Daddy Mommy Daddy"  
Harley was sitting up in bed, a sickly shade of grey. Luckily, Joey's natural reflexes were quicker than her mind at that time, which was still half asleep, and she instinctively grabbed a bowl and raced to Harley's side, just in time for Harley to lean in. And so the cycle began.  
Joey and Pacey were up most of the rest of that night, as this bout of vomiting seemed endless. Just when fifteen minutes had passed, and Harley began to settle, a wave of nausea would sweep over her and the vomiting would begin again. They gave Harley some anti nausea medicine to stop her from being sick it was working. Joey looked over at Pacey who was sitting up watch her sleep and smiled "What you looking at Witter" she asked "The most beautiful woman on the Planet" he replied reaching for her hand.

Pacey took her hand and wandered over to the armchair near the window. He sat down and pulled Joey onto his lap. He brushed her hair back, brushed his lips softly against her cheek, and held her close.  
"So, how are you holding up?" He asked, with a voice full of pure concern.  
She rested her head on his shoulder, as he wrapped his arms around her tighter.  
"Not too bad. Can't believe it is happening to us tho" " Yeah I know Jo"

"You're one amazing woman, Mrs Witter. I love you so much – you know that don't you?" Pacey smiled.

Joey smiled back at him. "There's no doubt in mind." She replied.

The nurse popped in from time to time throughout the day, checking Harley's temperature, adjusting the drip, and punching various codes and numbers into the beeping blue box connected to the chemo drip.  
Harley woke on and off, and, around lunchtime, as she was starting to drift off again there was a knock at the door. Gretchen was standing in the doorway with Josh  
"Knock knock." She whispered. "I thought you two could do with a break – I can sit with Harley if you want to grab some lunch or go home and change?" "Thanks Gretch it's been a long night"

Gretchen closed the door behind Joey and Pacey, and made her way over to the chair beside Harley's bed. Sitting down, she asked Harley the usual question.  
"How are you feeling, sweetie?" Gretchen patted Harley's hand softly.

Gretchen sat and watched Harley and Josh interact, Josh clearly happy to see Harley, and vice-versa, trying to ignore the bags of poisonous drugs flowing through the tubes and into her niece veins.

Meanwhile, back at the Potter household, Pacey and Joey emerged giggling from their bedroom, wrapped around each other. Pacey kissed her on the cheek.  
"I love you." She turned in his arms so she was facing him, and looked into his eyes.  
"I love you too." She leaned up and kissed him, slowly but deeply, full of love and passion.

Back at the hospital, Harley had drifted off to sleep. Gretchen was sitting next to her bed, Josh on the floor with some toys when Joey and Pacey returned, with a bag of Pacey's things for him to stay with Harley, and some cards that had arrived in the mail for her. Most from friend's in New York  
"How is she?" Pacey asked, reaching out and running a hand down Harley's cheek. She stirred slightly at her father's touch. "Sleeping like an angel." Gretchen replied. "I'll take Josh home and I think Dawson and Jen will be up later" she said as she left.

Gretchen chatted for a few more minutes before heading home. As the door closed behind her, Pacey and Joey sat down, and were talking quietly, when…

"Daaad! Mommy!" She cried.

Pacey was closest to the bed. Joey grabbed the basin and passed it to Pacey, who got to Harley, just in time for…  
Mouth rinsed, and clutching a glass of water, Harley lay back on the pillows and closed her eyes.  
"Are you ok, sweetie?" Pacey asked, stroking her hair.  
"OK" Harley croaked. "Sleep"  
Joey perched herself on the bed next to Harley.  
"How about, you close your eyes, and I'll tell you a story."

"Tell me all about what happened when you and Daddy went sailing for 3 months" Harley requested. She knew the story inside out and back to front, but she never tired if hearing it.  
"Ok." Joey agreed. "It started waaay back when…"

Harley shut her eyes, and let Joey's words wash over her, as sleep came quickly upon her. When Joey was confident she was sound asleep, she tucked her in, and kissed her "Goodnight, sweetheart. Sleep well." She whispered.  
Pacey got up to see her out. He kissed her deeply before walking her out to the corridor. He kissed her again, and then she turned and headed down the corridor toward the exit. She had only taken two steps, when she turned and hurried back over to Pacey. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tight. Pacey held her close.  
"Goodnight. I love you." She looked up at Pacey as they broke apart.  
He bent his head and kissed her. "Sweet dreams, gorgeous. I love you too."  
And with that, she left to go home. Leaving Pacey to watch their critically ill daughter sleep, long into the night.  
As Joey began to wake the next morning, she sleepily rolled over, pulling Pacey close to her, and gently tickling the back of his neck. He didn't move. She tickled him again.  
"Pacey? You awake?" She asked croakily, her eyes still bleary.  
No response.  
She shook him gently. "Pacey? Pacey, wake up."  
Still no response. She began to panic, shaking him harder. "Pacey? Pacey!"  
She heard a bedroom door open, and sat up, her heart beating in her chest. Fully awake, she looked down at the pillow she had been trying to shake awake, just as the bedroom door opened.  
"Joey? Are you ok?" Gretchen asked.  
Joey felt the colour rise in her cheeks.  
"Uh, yeah, fine, I just, uh, don't worry I'm fine, it's ok, everything's great."

Gretchen raised one eyebrow and opened her mouth to speak, but changed her mind, shrugged and nodded, before turning and closing the bedroom door. She headed to the kitchen to make Joey and herself a cup of coffee. She decided that Joey could do with it.

Back in her bedroom, Joey lay back on her pillows and cried. She didn't think of herself as a selfish person, usually, but today she couldn't help it. She asked over and over 'Why?' Why was this happening to their family? Why did Harley have cancer? Why couldn't she and Pacey just lead a normal life with their kids, waking up and falling asleep together, taking Harley and Josh to the movies or Knicks games, and doing the grocery shopping together at the weekend? Why couldn't they, for once, just experience some normality in their lives? Their fate seemed so twisted and cruel, throwing every bit of angst possible at them. Why? Why? Why?

Joey hurriedly wiped her tears away when she heard footsteps coming back up the hallway. Gretchen knocked softly on the door, before pushing it open and entering, balancing a tray, which held freshly made coffee, toast and the morning newspaper.

"Thought you could do with a bit of a cheer up." Gretchen smiled, "after staying with Harley for the past couple of nights." She placed the tray down next to her bed and left.

At about half past eight, the phone rang. "Hello? Joey Witter speaking."  
"I love the sound of that name." Came a corny sexy accent from the other end.  
"Morning Hun," Joey laughed, "I was just leaving to come to the hospital."  
"Before you do, would you be able to do me a favour?"  
"Yeah ok – how's Harley this morning?" She asked.  
"Not too bad – the nurse is coming in about half an hour to finish off the chemo – I think she'll be happy about that." "Yeah she will. So what's this favour you wanted to ask?"  
"Oh, yeah. On your way to the hospital, would you be able to make a detour past my parent's for me? No one is answering the phone there."  
"Sure – but why?" "Harley really wants to see her grandparents – she hasn't visited or talked to her since the diagnosis. Can you just pop by, see if they're home, and maybe offer them a lift to the hospital?"

"Ok, sure." Joey agreed. "I'll see you soon."  
"Ok – love you." Pacey said, and blew a kiss into the phone.  
Joey smiled. "I love you too. Bye." And replaced the phone in the cradle.

She grabbed her keys, a jacket, and, Josh, (Bessie was going out so Josh came with her) and they headed for Pacey's parents

Joey reached the door of the house and knocked. Nothing. She knocked again. Footsteps. The curtain covering the glass pane at the side of the door twitched, and Joey saw Mary's face appear in the window, but, disappear in a hurry when she saw Joey standing there. Joey frowned. 'What? Where did she go?' She thought to herself.  
She was just about to leave, when John opened the door.  
"Joey!" He smiled, "Hi.What can I do for you?"  
"I was just wondering if Mary wanted to come with me to visit Harley at the hospital?"

John's expression changed, he let out a small sigh.  
"I'm sorry, Joey, she's not here at the moment – she just popped down to the shops, another day maybe?" He went to close the door, Joey stopped it.  
"But – I just saw…"  
John cut Joey off. "Joey, I'm sorry, she's not here. Now, you'd better go – Harley and Pacey must be eager to see you."

And, with that, he closed the door, leaving Joey standing on the doorstep wondering what the hell had just happened. Joey stood, staring at the door for a few minutes, before she switched her brain back on, turned on her heel, and hurried to the car, where Josh was waiting.

She climbed into the driver's seat, closed the door, and sat, holding onto the steering wheel, a look of utter confusion on her face.  
"Where's Grandma?" Josh asked. He must have seen the confusion flickering across Joey's face, because he added, "What happened?"  
Joey looked at Josh. "Sweetie, your guess is as good as mine." (Putting her arm around him)

They arrived at the hospital a short time later, and entered Harley's room Grandma-less. Joey's mind was still in a whirl. Why wouldn't Mary come to the door? Why had she made John lie to her – and he had been lying – she had definitely seen Mary at the window.

She was snapped back to reality by a familiar set of lips brushing her cheek.  
"Hey, sweetheart." Pacey looked over Joey's shoulder. "Where's mom?" He frowned.  
"Uh, Pacey, could we have a word outside?" She whispered.  
She made her way over to Harley's bed, and Harley reached up to give her a hug.  
"Good morning princess." Joey said cheerfully.  
"Morning Mommy." Joey felt Harley smile into her shoulder at the sound of her mom and dad calling her 'princess'.

Harley laid back, and Joey took her hand. "Listen, sweetie, I just have to talk to Daddy for a sec, so, Josh can catch you up on all the gossip, and we'll be back in a minute, ok?"

Harley nodded as Josh wrapped her in a bear hug.  
Pacey held the door open for Joey, and then closed it behind himself.  
"What's going on?" he asked her.  
"Pacey, I honestly have no idea." She replied, before relaying the morning's events to him.  
When Joey finished talking, Pacey rubbed his forehead, trying to take it in. he knew his own mother could be a bit of a screw-up, but he had officially given up trying to figure out the way her mind worked.  
"What are you going to do?" Joey asked.  
Pacey's brow furrowed. "I really don't know. Quite frankly, neither of us have the time to worry about my mom's whacked behaviour right now, but, when I get a second to myself, I might go around there and demand to see her."  
Pacey unscrewed his face, and his eyes crinkled as he smiled at a concerned-looking Joey. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her forehead.  
"Thanks for trying."

Pacey and Joey had re-entered the room and braced themselves for Harley to ask where her grandma was, and it wasn't long before the inevitable came.  
"Where's Granny mommy she come and see today."  
Josh looked at Joey, who looked desperately at Pacey, who quickly found his feet and blurted out the first excuse that came into his head.  
"I'm sorry, she can't make it today."

Harley looked crestfallen, and it broke Joey's heart, anger boiling deep in the pit of her stomach. She didn't know what was going on with Mary, but, seeing the look on that sick little girls face, Joey thought to herself that Mary had better have a very good excuse.  
Joey put her hand to Harley's face and lifted her chin.  
"Hey – cheer up, Charlie – no more chemo for a few days now! Bet you're happy about that!"

Harley tried to sound bright. "Yeah." She managed, half-heartedly.

She had no time to ask anymore questions, as Dr Epson knocked and let herself in.  
"Hi, how are we all today?" She asked.

Ten minutes later, she had disconnected the chemo drip, taken Harley's temperature, drawn some blood;  
Harley looked at the Doctor "me feel yuck long?" She asked hopefully.  
"Oh, sweetie, it depends – you still might feel sick for a few more days, and there might be other side effects yet. But, with a bit of luck, you'll be feeling a bit better in the next couple of days." Dr Epson answered Harley's question truthfully, but hoped she hadn't upset her.  
But Harley didn't seem too phased. "Ok." She replied.

The next day, however, brought more frustration for Harley.  
When Joey rang in the morning to tell them she was going to be a bit late, as she had to grab a few groceries before she came, Harley answered the beside phone.  
"He-o"  
Joey frowned. Where was Pacey, and who was answering the phone!

"Harley, baby– is that you?" She asked.

"Es." Came the reply.  
"Baby, what's wrong? Where's Daddy?" Joey asked, worried now.  
"Ouf urts – dad's o e toiet." Harley struggled to get the words out.

Suddenly, Joey understood. Pacey was on the toilet, so Harley had answered the phone, but she was having difficulty talking because she had developed some painful mouth ulcers – another side-effect of the chemo.  
"Oh, Harley – don't try and talk sweetie – you've got ulcers haven't you. Ok, listen bub, grab a pen and paper from the draw next to you, and draw a phone and write M.O.M.M.Y when he's finished in the bathroom, ok? I'll see you soon." She made a kiss-kiss noise into the phone, and hung it up.

"How's Har?" Josh asked, emerging from the kitchen.  
"Not too good, from the sounds of things." Joey replied. "I think she might have a mouth full of ulcers – it's a side effect of the chemo." Joey explained, seeing the look on Josh's face, as she opened the front door and made a mental note to grab some antiseptic mouth gel, and some mouth wash from the chemist on the way to the hospital.

Harley scribbled furiously on the notepaper, tears rolling down her face. She felt like an invalid already, and this was only her first chemo treatment. But then, she knew a couple of other kids on the ward, who had had worse side effects than her, so she supposed she should count her blessings.

Pacey emerged from the bathroom drying his hands. Harley passed him the note:

He look at the picture and understood it and it had a unhappy face

"I know sweetie, but at least we know that the chemo is getting into your system." He replied, trying to find the bright side of the dark situation.  
He hopped up onto the bed next to her, and she giggled as they both nearly fell off, but the laughter soon turned to pain, as her hand flew to her stinging mouth.  
Pacey put an arm around her. "Oh, sorry honey."  
She nodded, and snuggled her head into his shoulder, as he picked up the phone to call Joey.

"Bessie Harley has mouth ulcers and can't talk well I'm going down the chemist on the way to the hospital" Joey was talking to her sister while getting Josh breakfast

Joey phone rang

"Jo Har gave me the note OK just come up A.S.AP you know she likes you here to" Pacey Said

"Pace should I bring Josh or leave him with Bess or Gretch?" she asked

"Up to you but it is good if Harley has her family around her" Pacey Replied

"Pace I'll bring him I think he feels left out and misses you" said she softly looking at her son

"Bye Baby get Harley a kiss tell her everyone is thinking of her" she said

"OK love you" he said hanging up the phone

**Hospital  
**"Har mommy's coming she has to go to the chemist first, she is bring Josh"  
She put her thumb up 

Harley leaned over the sink and spat out the blue liquid, while Joey held her hair back.  
"How does that feel?"  
"OK." Harley replied.  
"Good girl." Joey leaned forward and kissed her forehead, before wrapping her in a hug. "You're so brave." She whispered into her hair, barely loud enough to hear herself. But Harley heard. She pulled back and looked up at Joey. She didn't try to speak, just lifted her hand and put it to Joey's cheek, resting it there for a second, before walking past her and climbing back onto the bed, and grabbing the TV remote.

She and Josh sat on the bed watching TV.

Joey hadn't needed to hear Harley speak to know what she was trying to say. The gratitude was evident in her eyes.  
As they re-entered the room, Pacey looked up.  
"Hey, how's that feel sweetheart?" He asked.  
Harley looked over at Joey for help.  
"A little bit better." Joey spoke up.

That afternoon they had some visitors it was Dawson and Jen They came in with lots of Balloons and flowers and cards to cheer her up  
"Hi Harley how you been" Jen said not knowing really what to say. "OK" she whispered  
Joey spoke up "She has mouth ulcers and it hurts too talk a lot right baby" looking at her daughter who nodded. "So Pace how you been" asked Dawson "OK we're just taking one day at a time ain't we Jo" he replied smiling at his wife. They stay for about an hour chatting and catching up on the gossip.

When they left Harley and Josh were asleep in Harley's bed cuddled up to each other, Pacey looked on and said, "they are amazing kids Jo you know that right." Joey looked at them and sat on Pacey's lap and said, "I know"

Before she knew it, 10 days had passed since her first day of chemo, and she was due for her second dose the next day.

Gretchen had phone and asked if Alex and Lily where allowed in to see Harley Pacey had said "bring them in I think Harley would like to see different faces."

Later that afternoon Harley was playing and asks Joey to plait her hair. Joey picked up the brush and started brushing she notice hair came away in the brush.

Joey didn't know what to do. How could she break it to Harley that her hair had started to fall out? She tried to signal for Pacey to help her out, but Harley felt the movement this time, and turned around.  
"Mommy, stop…" Harley froze when she saw the brush Joey had clutched in her hand, and the look on her face. She swallowed, and slowly took the hairbrush from her mommy's hand; never taking her eyes of the clump of what she knew was her own hair, not on her head where it should be, but hanging limply from her hairbrush. She had known that this would happen, and she knew that it would grow back, but it didn't stop the hurt. "Har, I…" Joey began, but she didn't know what else to say, she just wrapped her arms around her and held her as she cried.

Joey felt Harley's tears soak through her shirt and onto her skin, as she rocked her and stroked her hair. More fell out between her fingers. She stopped. Hugging Harley tight.

When Pacey left to go home that night, Harley was still teary. He hated seeing his little princess upset.

The next morning, Harley began chemo again. When she woke up, she climbed out of bed, and carefully tiptoed to the bathroom, trying not to wake Joey up. She washed her hands and looked in the mirror. Her hair was still all tousled from sleeping, and she giggled as she caught her reflection. Momentarily forgetting the events of the previous night, Harley reached up and ran her hands through her hair, pushing it off her face, then looked in horror as two big clumps came away in her hands.

"Mommy!" She yelled.

Joey jumped out of bed so fast she tripped over Harley's dressing gown on the floor, and landed sprawled in a tangled heap on the hard hospital floor. Harley raced out of the bathroom at the thud, clutching at her hair, tears rolling down her face.

Joey picked herself up and hurried towards Harley.  
"Har – what's wrong?" She asked.  
Harley held out her hands, displaying the chunks of hair.  
"Hair" Joey pulled her into a hug. "Shhhh, sweetheart, it's alright." Joey soothed, as Harley's sobs subsided. Joey took her back into the bathroom to splash her face, and Joey quickly grabbed the strands of hair that lay scattered across Harley's pillow, and threw them in the bin, in an attempt to save her from any further grief.

Pacey arrived at the hospital with Josh not long after. Pacey didn't know whether he wanted his son to witness his little sister being hooked up to all the different drugs, as he had thought it might prove distressing, but Josh had insisted.

He took Harley her favourite book "the little mermaid, and a soft teddy bear he had picked out himself, which, he explained, would comfort her when he wasn't there to perform his brotherly duties.

She called the teddy Tim after Tim Thomas of the New York Knicks.

Pacey had promised her when she was all clear he would take her to a Knicks game.  
Pacey decided to take Josh for breakfast while Harley was having the needle and chemo drip hooked up  
Joey and Harley were sitting chatting when they came back.

Pacey nodded. "Hey, I'm just going outside to make a phone call. I won't be a minute."  
"Ooh – who's in trouble?" Joey joked.  
Pacey smiled. "Nah, I've been trying to call my mom all afternoon, and she won't pick up her phone. I'm going to find out what's going on with that mother of mine, once and for all."  
Pacey closed the door behind him.

Pacey walked out through the automatic doors of the hospital, and dialled his mobile, breathing in the crisp night air.

"Come on, pick up. Pick up. Come o...Mom! Hi, its Pacey."  
"Uh, hi Pacey. What's up?" Mary asked, knowing what was coming.  
"That's exactly what I want to know mom " Pacey replied.  
"Pacey," Mary laughed falsely, "I don't know what you're talking about."  
"Mom, you know perfectly well what I'm talking about. Now what's going on?"

"I…I've had the flu – I didn't think they'd appreciate me bringing germs into a ward full of sick kids." Mary was grasping at straws.

"Germs can't travel down the phone, Mom. You could've at least called." Pacey replied, amazed at his own wit.  
"Pacey…I…don't…" Mary stammered.

"Mom– don't lie to me." Pacey started to get irritated. He loved his Mother, but sometimes he had to see her for what she could quite often be – a drama queen.  
"Look, Pacey, do we have to do this over the phone?" Mary pleaded, trying to buy herself time.

Pacey sighed. "Oh, alright. Look, meet me at the icehouse tomorrow morning at 10.00, ok? Oh, that's providing your Granddaughter isn't too sick for me to leave her."  
"Pacey, don't guilt trip me, ok? I'll see you tomorrow."  
"Ok. Goodnight."  
"Night." Mary hung up and sighed. How she was going to face her son she didn't know.

Harley, while sleeping, tossed and turned through the night, keeping Pacey awake for most of it. The next morning, when Joey arrived at the hospital, both he and Harley were still asleep. She stood over Harley for a minute, and stroked her cheek, then crouched down next to Pacey's bed and ran her hand down his face.

He stirred slightly at her touch, and reached up to where her hand touched his face, trapping it beneath his.  
"Joey." He murmured in his sleep. "I'm here, Pacey." Joey whispered, and leaned forward, gently brushing her lips against his. "Mmmm." He murmured, a goofy grin spreading across his face as she kissed him again. His eyes began to open, and Joey straightened up.  
"Awh - don't stop!" He murmured croakily, and pulled her down next to him. Joey giggled and snuggled up next to him, on top of the covers – they didn't want Harley to think they were up to anything if she woke up suddenly! He held her close. "I miss this." Pacey said. "I know, but we have to be there for Har." Joey replied, resting her head against his shoulder, as he ran his fingers up and down her back. She shivered.

"Pace." She laughed quietly. "Don't start something you know we can't finish here."  
Pacey put on a puppy dogface. "I know. But it's not fair!"  
Joey kissed him on the cheek. "Well, just think about how good it's going to be when Harley's all better, and we can all be at home together again."  
Pacey's eyes glazed over, and he smiled lopsidedly. "Yep, I reckon that can just about get me through the rest of the day." "Pace!" Joey slapped his arm playfully. "Mind out of the gutter! I meant when we can be together as a family!" They lay there, Pacey with his arms around Joey, for another 15 minutes, until Pacey suddenly remembered. "Joey!" He said, sitting up. "What time is it?"  
Joey looked at her watch. "9.42. Why? What time are you meeting your mom?"  
Pacey jumped out of bed and grabbed some clothes, bolting for the shower. "10am!" He called behind him.

Harley woke while Pacey was in the shower, and, when he emerged; Joey was carefully plaiting her daughter's hair. Pacey kissed both of them quickly goodbye.  
"you going, Daddy?" Harley asked. "Ahh, I've got a…meeting, sweetheart." "who?" Harley asked.  
"I'm going to see grandma to ask her to see you. You want that right" asked Pacey "Yeah Daddy" she said with a smile.  
Pacey pushed the door of the icehouse open, and scanned the room. He spotted his mother at the counter talking to a lady. He made his way over. Mary paled slightly when she saw him.  
"Uh, Pacey…hi." "Hey. I'll grab a table shall I?" Pacey asked, wanting to cut to the chase so he could get back to Harley and Joey.

"NO! No…Let's go for a walk, ok? It's much…uhh…nicer…outside."  
Pacey shrugged. "Ok, but we have to go now. I have to get back to Harley."

Mary followed him out the door and into the bright morning sunlight.  
"Ok," Pacey started, "What's going on here, mom. I know you have your own life, and you're busy but surely you can find time for a phone call, at least." "I know, Pacey, and I'm sorry I haven't been there for Harley– and you, and Josh and Joey, for that matter, it's just…"  
"What, Mom– just what?" Pacey pressed.  
Mary struggled to find the words. "I…well Pacey, you see…" "Come on, Mom– you can tell me – I'm your son." "I CAN'T HANDLE IT, OK PACEY!" Mary lost her cool, and then dissolved into sobs, sinking onto a bench. "Oh, mom." Pacey's face softened, as he hugged his mother. "Why didn't you just say?"

Mary spoke between sobs. "I couldn't, Pacey. I felt terrible. I want to see her Pacey, I desperately want to hold her, and tell her everything will be ok. But I'm scared, Pacey; I'm scared of loosing her. And I thought if I distanced myself from it all, then it wouldn't be as hard if…if the worst happened." Mary continued to cry tears that she had wanted to shed for weeks spilling down her cheeks as Pacey held her.

Back at the hospital, Joey was reading a magazine as Harley slept, the chemo beginning to take effect. After Joey had finished plaiting Harley's hair, attempting to cover up some of the rapidly appearing bald spots, they had spent the morning watching a movie. Harley's favourite E.T

Joey looked up from the magazine as she heard movement outside the door, and turned to see Pacey enter, closely followed by…  
"Mary!" Joey exclaimed, as Mary entered the room behind Pacey.  
Mary smiled softly at Joey, a smile full of remorse. She reached Joey and hugged her.  
"Joey, I'm so sorry." Joey looked at Pacey over Mary's shoulder, and raised an eyebrow. Pacey just grinned and mouthed "I'll tell you later."  
Mary broke apart from Joey, and hesitantly made her way over to Harley 's bed, where her Granddaughter lay, sleeping.  
She reached out her hand, then pulled back.  
"Mom, it's ok." Pacey prompted, wrapping an arm around Joey's waist.

Mary slowly reached her hand toward Harley's little face, and made contact, gently running her hand down her cheek. Harley shivered at the touch, and her eyelids fluttered.  
"Mommy?" She guessed, groggily.  
"No, sweetie. It's Grandma I'm here now, sweetheart, and I'm so sorry." Mary sat carefully on the bed next to Harley.  
Harley rubbed her face with her hands, fully waking up.  
"Granny!" She pulled herself up and hugged her grandma  
Mary's eyes welled up with tears as she hugged Harley tight. "I don't deserve you, sweetheart."

Mary sat and chatted with Harley for a while, before Joey whispered something to Pacey, and he nodded.

"Ah, Mom?" he asked, "Would you mind sitting with Harley for a little bit, while Joey and I go grab a coffee and a bite to eat?"  
Harley looked up at her Grandma and smiled hopefully.  
"Not a problem." Mary smiled back.

Pacey took Joey's hand and they headed downstairs to the cafeteria.  
When they had ordered something to eat, they sat with their coffee, and Pacey began to explain everything that had happened that morning in the park, and how his mother had figured that if she kept her distance it would be easier for her. "I know it sounds kind of selfish, but I can understand where she was coming from." Pacey told Joey. "Yeah – so can I." Joey agreed, just as their lunch arrived. "At least she came to visit Harley now." Joey pointed out. "I don't think she would ever forgive herself if she didn't come, and something did happen to Harley– not getting the chance to say goodbye would be worse than the pain of losing her." Pacey nodded, and swallowed a mouthful of toasted sandwich. "That's true."  
Joey laughed half-heartedly. "Listen to me – I sound like the biggest hypocrite."  
Pacey smiled and held onto her hand across the table. "You were just doing what you thought was right."  
"Yeah, well, I guess mom was too."

In the late afternoon, Pacey decided to head home, as Harley was sleeping and Josh was getting tired. As he began to gather up his things, Harley woke, needing to go to the toilet. Joey helped her out of bed, and Pacey gave her a cuddle to say goodbye, then Joey walked her to the bathroom, then returned to help Pacey.

When he had everything, Pacey kissed Joey goodbye, and he and Josh headed out the door. Joey was just closing it behind them, when Harley staggered from the bathroom.

"Mommy…I…mo.." She crashed to the ground.  
"HARLEY!" Joey cried. "PACCCEY"

The door flew open as Pacey raced back into the room, closely followed by Josh.  
Joey was crouched down next to Harley, gently shaking her.  
"Harley? Harley? Can you hear me sweetheart?"  
Harley's eyes rolled in her head, as she began to fit.  
"PACEY!" Joey screamed. "Do something!"

Pacey dropped onto the floor next to Joey. "Josh , press the buzzer to get help – QUICK!" He raised his voice, as Josh was rooted to the spot, panic rendering his feet useless. He had been so scared – he didn't wanted her to die.

He was spurred into action, though, by his dad's voice, and raced over to press the emergency buzzer by Harley's bed.  
A few seconds later, two nurses hurried into the room.  
"What happened?" One asked.  
"Um, she…she just came out of the bathroom and collapsed. She's having a seizure or something. Can you do something to help – please help her. " Joey pleaded, tears rolling down her face.

One of the nurses grabbed some pillows to soften the floor below Harley, and tried to settle her, asking Pacey Joey and Josh to leave the room.  
Pacey pulled Joey close to him, out in the corridor as the situation unfolded.  
"Hey, it's ok, she'll be fine."  
Joey nodded and buried her head deeper into Pacey's shoulder.

Doctor Epson passed them and entered the room not long after.  
With the help of the nurses, and another doctor, Harley was stabilised, and moved back to her bed. Dr Epson thanked the nurses, had a whispered conversation with the doctor, and then finally emerged and informed the Witter's that Harley would be fine, but they would need to run a few tests in the morning.

"See." Pacey kissed Joey on the forehead, and wiped her eyes with his thumbs as he held her face in his hands.

"Daddy? Mommy?" Pacey and Joey heard Harley call weakly.  
They rushed back into the room to her side. "Harley , honey. Thank God you're ok. You gave us a scare." Pacey held her hand and kissed it. "happened?" She asked. "They don't know yet, sweetheart. You'll be fine, they just want to run a few tests in the morning. You try and get some sleep, baby girl." Pacey replied.

Harley was exhausted, and gratefully slipped back into a deep slumber.  
Joey was still shaken, and Pacey was reluctant to leave her alone. She insisted she'd be fine, but Pacey was still worried.  
"Josh, would you mind if I asked Auntie Gretchen to pick you up, and take you home" Pacey asked. "I really don't want to leave mommy and Harley like this, I think it'd be a good idea if I stayed the night."  
"Yeah Dad, that's fine." Josh said shakily Pacey went to phone his sister explaining what had happened and that could she come for Josh

Twenty minutes later, Josh left with Gretchen and Harley was sleeping soundly. For Joey, however, sleep was a long way off. Still shaken, Pacey held her until the early hours of the morning, when she finally drifted of into a broken sleep.

The next morning, Harley was wheeled of for a scan and some blood and other tests, and Pacey and Joey waited in her room. "Are you ok?" Pacey asked Joey, bringing a halt to her pacing, placing his hands on her hips and pulling her to him. "Yeah, I'm fine." Joey replied. "You didn't sleep very well, did you?" Pacey pointed out. "No." Joey admitted.

Not long after, Harley was brought back to the room.  
"How is everything?" Pacey asked Dr Epson.  
"Well, Harley herself is fine this morning." She replied.  
"What happened last night?" Joey asked.  
"Well, we won't know for sure until the test results are back later this afternoon, but it would appear that Harley suffered some sort of seizure. We think she may have had an allergic reaction to one of the anti-nausea medications we tried this time."  
Pacey and Joey looked at each other.  
"Don't worry," the Doctor continued, "Harley has suffered no lasting damage – we sent her for a brain scan just to be sure, but everything is fine." "Thank you, Doctor." Pacey said as she left the room.

Within a few days, Harley had totally recovered from her little episode, and Dr Epson had informed the Witter's that it had been an allergic reaction to one of the anti-nausea drugs, and a note had been made not to give it to her again! She was also recovering well from her second dose of chemo, having not suffered too many side effects this time round – she had had a few mouth ulcer's, but nothing like the first time, for which she was very grateful.

Harley's Birthday 

Harley woke up early and looked around the room Pacey and Joey had put balloons and banners all round the room the night before. Joey was asleep in the chair next to her. Harley said "Mommy mommy do you know what today is my birthday" .Joey looked up at her daughter she noticed for the first time in a long time a big grin on her face. Just then Pacey and Josh walked in Josh with a big box with a big bow on it and Pacey with a wrapped present. "Whose do you want first baby" asked Pacey. "Josh's" she replied

She took the present from Josh and lifted the lid it was a basketball with writing on it "It's been signed by all the New York Knicks" said Josh grinning. (Pacey had taken Josh up to New York and he had asked them to sign it as he explained it would make his sister's birthday because she has cancer and is in hospital for her birthday) "WOW WOW" she said kissing her brother. "How about the one from us now baby" said Pacey handing her the present. She unwrapped it carefully it was a PS2 with a few games "WOW thank you thank you" she said kissing and hugging her mom and dad. "So you like it then" Pacey joked "We asked the nurse if you can have it in the room she said yes" said Joey .

Pacey said "Auntie Bessie, Auntie Gretchen, Alex, Auntie Jen, Uncle Dawson and Grandma will all be up at some time today" Joey said "how about we get you dressed as it looks like your fully booked today"

Pacey had set up the playstation and Josh and Harley were sitting playing on it.

Harley was now wearing T-shirt and shorts when her first guests arrived it was Bessie, Alex and Lily.

"Hi sweetheart how are we this morning" asked Bessie "Good look what I got" Harley replied showing her the basketball and playstaton. "Wicked" said Alex and Lily as the looked at the playstation. Bessie gave Harley her present it was a doll . "Thank you" she said. They stay for about 2 hours it was hard to get Alex and Lily away from the Playstation.

Next visitors were Gretchen, Dawson and Jen "Hi everyone" Jen said "Happy Birthday sweetheart" Gretchen said kissing Harley on the head. She gave Harley her present it was a new Knicks Top "WOW WOW thank you Auntie Gretchen" "Mommy can I put it on now" she asked Joey "Of course".

Dawson looked over at Pacey and Josh who were sitting on the floor looking up at the TV Dawson said "Jo what's with them" "Playstation 2 HARLEY'S present from me and Pace" she replied. Gretchen Joked "No that is more a present for PACEY and JOSH" Dawson walked over to Harley who was on the bed "Happy Birthday Princess How old are you today?" "5" she replied "Do you want your present now?" he asked "yes please" she said smiling. She unwrapped the present it was a picture of her mom and dad at the Leery's Christmas party years ago and a DVD.

"Daddy can we watch the DVD please" she look in to Pacey's eyes and pouted

"OK let's have a look" he said taking the DVD and put it in the Playstation. Everyone gathered round the bed to see the TV. It was a DVD of Joey Pacey Jen and Dawson when they were younger. Harley's eyes welled up at the sight of her Mom and Dad years ago. Pacey noticed his daughter crying "hey baby what's with the tears" "It's just you all look happy" she replied. Joey went over and gave her a big hug. They stayed for another half an hour and then said "goodbye and they will come back soon"

Harley have fallen asleep she woke up to go to the toilet she stood up and fell on the floor  
"Harley!" Joey crouched down in front of Harley and put a hand to her forehead. She was pale, clammy, and shivering uncontrollably, large dark purple circles under her eyes making her look as though she'd been punched in the face. She couldn't walk in a straight line – in fact, she could hardly stand up.

Harley, opened her mouth to respond, but found she didn't have the energy to talk.  
"What's wrong with her?" Pacey asked, starting to panic. "Harley, sweetie, what happened? What's the matter with you?"

10 minutes later Dr Epson came in to the room, where she began to examine Harley.

She told Pacey and Joey that it was probable that Harley had contracted a virus or an infection, and it had presented itself as much more serious due to the weakened state of her immune system. She explained that the common cold can become life threatening when contracted by a patient undergoing Chemotherapy, especially with Leukaemia sufferers, as their system is already practically non-existent due to the cancer's attack on their infection-fighting cells.  
It seemed that whatever the virus Harley had contracted, her condition was serious, and they would have to act fast.  
Pacey and Joey were in shock she had been fine laughing happy this morning.

As his daughter was wheeled away, Pacey sank to the floor and stared at the wall in front of him.  
"How did this happen?" He asked no one in particular.

Joey slid down the wall next to him, and put a comforting arm around him "Don't worry, Pace. Kids pick up germs. It just affects cancer patients worse because their immune system is weaker." She kissed his cheek. "They'll find out what sort of infection Harley has, and put her on a strong dose of anti-biotics to get rid of it. She'll be fine." Pacey nodded. "Of course she will."  
Joey put her head on his shoulder. "That's more like it." She replied.

Later that afternoon, Harley was brought back to the room. Her eyes were closed and she was hooked up to what seemed like a million different machines and monitors, all beeping and bleeping rhythmically.  
Pacey's eyes filled up with tears as he walked over to his daughter, as if in slow motion. She was barely visible underneath all the tubes and equipment. Pacey found her hand and picked it up in his.

"What…what's wrong?" He heard himself asking, although he hadn't told his lips to move.

"I'm sorry Mr and Mrs Witter, I'm afraid it isn't good news. The infection that your daughter has contracted is extremely serious. We have got her on a cocktail of medication and anti-biotics, but it would take a miracle for them to work. It's doubtful she will survive the night. I'm so sorry." She repeated, as their tried to absorb the information.

He could hear the voices of the people around him, offering their condolences, but their words were a blur. The room spun as he tried to steady himself on his feet, so he gave up and sat down.

The pain was too much to bear. He sensed Joey get up and pick up the phone. Everyone would have to come up to the hospital. Pacey had to hold back from vomiting as he thought about why. To say goodbye to Harley who they had all seen earlier that day. The pain in his heart was agonising.  
Everyone arrived and cried with Joey and Pacey as they sat with Harley. Her condition continued to worsen as the evening progressed.

About 11pm Dr Epson came to check Harley over. Her face remained grim as she placed a hand on Pacey and Joey's shoulders. Everyone looked on

"I'm terribly sorry, but it's time to say your goodbyes."  
Joey let out a loud sob as she and Pacey clung to each other. Everyone stared at the doctor.

"No." They said in disbelief. "No. There must be something else you can do. You can't just let her die. DO SOMETHING!" Everyone pleaded  
Joey cried harder.  
"I'm sorry." The doctor offered, "But there is nothing more we can do. It's all up to Harley now."

Pacey stroked Joey's hair as she buried her head in his shoulder, and his tears soaked into her hair.

"Why is this happening to us, Jo?" He sobbed, and her shoulders shook harder. They hugged each other tight, opening an arm for everyone got up and came over to them. They held each other for a while, and then pulled back.

Joey picked up Harley's hand, and gently stroked it.  
"Come on, baby girl, fight. Be strong,." She said, struggling to talk through her tears.  
Pacey put a comforting arm around her shoulder as he spoke to Harley. "We love you so much sweetheart. You've fought so hard - don't let this beat you now. You've got so…" He broke down, but continued to speak through his tears, "…So much living to do." He withdrew his arm from Joey's shoulder, and put his head in his hands as he cried.

The time past slowly as the Witter's and everyone else sat with Harley, silently willing her to live, the only noise the steady hum of the respirator, and the excruciating sound of Harley struggling for breath as she battled for her life.  
Everyone their tears now dry, unable to cry anymore, took it in turns to hold Harley's hand and tell her all the different things that they would take her to do and see when she got better.

Pacey promised to take her to a Knicks game and sailing on the boat down to Key West.

Joey promised to take her shopping in New York for as many toys as she wanted.

Josh promised to teach her how to ride a bike and how to fish.

Gretchen promised to take her to Chicago for the weekend

And so the night drew long.

Harley battled through, hanging on, as Dr Epson told them, by a thread.

When the first light broke, she was slipping in and out of consciousness.

Early morning, the Witter's were told to prepare for the worst.

By mid-morning, she showed a small sign of improvement

At lunchtime, they were once again told to say goodbye – that this was it.

At half-past ten that night, the room was quiet. Pacey was half-asleep in the chair with Josh on his lap, stroking Joey's hair. She was asleep, sitting on the floor, leaning back against Pacey's legs, her head rested in his lap. Gretchen was curled up on the floor beside her, also asleep.

Pacey was just beginning to doze, when a small sound caused him to wake. He sat up so fast he knocked Joey on the head with his knuckles. She groaned softly in her sleep and rubbed her head, slowly opening her eyes.  
"Whadidya do that for?" She asked sleepily.  
Pacey rubbed the spot he had bumped, apologising. "Sorry – it's just, I thought I…I thought Harley moved or something." She moved out of his way as he stood up with Josh in his arms and then stood up herself, treading on Gretchen's fingers in the process.

She woke up. "Whadidya do that for?" She grumbled sleepily.

"Owh, sorry mate." Apologised Joey. "Your brother just thought Harley might have moved.

Gretchen got up off the floor, holding her fingers, and joined Pacey with Josh in his arms and Joey by the bed. They both had tears in their eyes, as they watched their little girl lay, almost lifeless, on the bed. As they watched her, her eyes twitched. Joey gripped Pacey's hand as her eyes fluttered some more, and began to open.  
Gretchen buzzed the nurse.

Harley's eyes slowly moved around, taking in the room, and lingering on Pacey's, then Joey's, then Gretchen's faces, absorbing their almost mournful expressions, which were slowly beginning to turn to ones of disbelief.

She slowly licked her dry lips, every movement causing her a great deal of pain. She opened her mouth, and managed to croak, "What's up"

Pacey Joey Gretchen, and the nurse who had just entered the room to respond to Gretchen pressing the buzzer, all burst into tears.

Dr Epson arrived soon after, examining Harley and informing Pacey and Joey that, although she was awake, Harley was far from out of the danger zone. She had a long way to go, but the fact that she had woken up was a very good sign.

Pacey Joey and Josh kept vigil beside Harley's bed throughout the night, and all through the next day, only leaving her side to eat and use the bathroom. Even then there was still someone with her, as they took it in turns to leave the room.  
The third round of chemo had been delayed, but Dr Epson told them that if Harley continued to improve over the next few days, they would administer it then. Although she didn't want to run the risk of the cancer cells attacking any further, she was concerned that weakening Harley's immune system any further would result in death.

And so they waited. And hoped. And prayed.

Devastated when she heard of the news, Mary came to visit, and sat with Harley for hours. Bessie also came for a visit, as much to check on how Pacey, Joey and Josh were holding up, as to visit Harley.

A week past. Every day was a battle, but, as the days passed, Harley gradually grew a little stronger. By the end of the week, she was sitting up for short periods of time, and could manage a few words, but talking for too long was still painful, and made her breathless.  
Dr Epson had been worried about permanent side effects as a result of the severity and speed with which the infection had attacked Harley's body, but so far all test results had been clear.

After almost two weeks, their main priority had shifted back to the Leukaemia, and Dr Epson felt confident enough to begin chemotherapy once again.

Harley, who was just beginning to feel better, was upset at this news, as she didn't want to feel sick again, but she knew that it meant she was out of the woods – as far as the infection was concerned – and so she reluctantly agreed.  
She began chemo, for the third time, the next day.

The weeks continued to pass, Harley and the Witter's falling into a relentless cycle of good days and bad, as Harley fully recovered from her virus, only to be struck with the vicious effects of the treatment.  
Her hair was now almost totally gone, apart from a few tufts around the front. The back had fallen out quicker, because of the pressure from Harley laying on it almost constantly.

Harley started chemo again that night. The idea was that she would sleep through the worst of the sickness, seeing as the first 8 – 12 hours were usually when she felt the effects of the drugs the most.

Harley couldn't figure out why they bothered – she pointed out to Joey that she woke up to be sick anyway, so it just meant that everyone was up half the night cleaning up her vomit.

But the nurses insisted that it was better this way, and so they persisted.

Josh was staying with Bessie, so both Joey and Pacey had decided to stay the night, so they could take it in turns to be with Harley if she needed it, and so the other could get some sleep.

Dr Epson arrived with a nurse at 4pm to connect the drip. By 8.03pm, Harley was starting to feel nauseous.

8.31pm, and she had thrown up everything she had eaten over the past 24 hours.

By 9.16pm, she was in tears, she had an awful taste in her mouth, she was still vomiting, and, as an added bonus, a familiar grumbling from deep inside her stomach announced the arrival of another bout of diarrhoea.

So, 9.27pm saw a young girl, who, earlier that day had been bright and positive, sitting in the bathroom, with a tear stained face, clutching a metal bowl. She had given up hurrying to the bathroom. She no longer had the energy. Instead, she had set up camp on the tiled floor, exhausted and angry at the world.

Pacey gently pushed the bathroom door opened, holding a bottle of water and a damp face cloth.

"Harley?" He started, poking his head around the door.  
"Go ." She whispered.  
"Baby, I brought you a…"  
"Go!" Harley snapped, regretting it at once as pain rippled through her head and body at the movement.  
Pacey backed out of the bathroom, and looked desperately at Joey. "Help?"  
Joey took the water bottle and face cloth from her husband, and walked cautiously over to the bathroom.  
"Harley honey? It's Mommy . Can I come in?" She asked carefully.

Harley didn't answer, so Joey pushed the door open a little wider.  
"Harley? Oh, sweetie."  
Harley was still sitting on the bathroom floor, leaning against the toilet bowl, crying.  
Joey gathered her up into a hug.  
"It's ok, baby. It's ok." Joey soothed.

"No yell." Harley sobbed. "But I feel so…yuck." She finished.  
"I know, sweetie, and Daddy knows too. It's ok to be upset and angry. It's ok." Joey passed Harley a cup of water. "Here, have a drink of water, it'll make you feel better."

Harley took the cup and sipped, as Joey gently sponged her face with the cloth. Pacey looked tentatively around the door, and Harley looked up. "sorry Daddy here."  
So Pacey joined Harley and Joey in the bathroom, where they stayed until the early hours of the morning.

By the time the first light was breaking, Joey had helped Pacey carefully tuck Harley back into bed, and the two of them decided they should really try and get some sleep as well.  
Squashing into the single bed that was set up in Harley's room proved a task in itself, but much squashing, giggling and nearly rolling off the edge later, they finally found a comfortable position, curled up together, and drifted off to sleep. The three slept peacefully until about 8am, when Joey fell out of bed, and crashed to the floor, waking Pacey up with a fit of giggles. Harley, drained from the chemo, slept straight through.  
Pacey peered over the edge of the bed, where his wife was sprawled, trying desperately to suppress her laughter.  
"Surely I wasn't snoring that bad!" Pacey joked, reaching down a hand and pulling Joey back up onto the bed, hugging her tight. "Nah – the snoring I can cope with – it's the rotten smell that gets me!" Joey replied wittily, as Pacey playfully hit her.  
After a few minutes, they decided to get up and grab something to eat before Harley woke up, as the smell of food would probably make her stomach coil.  
They were dressed and ready to duck down to the cafeteria to grab some breakfast.

Over the next few weeks Harley started to feel better then one morning the Witter's were on the Playstation and Dr Epson came in "Harley's latest blood and bone-marrow results indicate the first stage of remission, there are no cancer cells. immediately detectable in either her blood or the marrow, meaning we can now move on to the next phase of treatment."  
Pacey wished he had a camera with him to catch the priceless look on Harley's delighted face, as he and Joey hugged tightly, Joey choked up with tears of relief, before both bear-hugging Harley.

"air!" she joked as her parents squeezed her tight.

Dr Epson laughed. "There is still a long road ahead, but things are looking good. I will arrange a meeting with you for tomorrow to discuss Harley 's protocol for the Consolidation Phase of treatment. Basically we will be continuing a less aggressive course of chemo, a course of radiation therapy, and I will have to discuss the possibility of a Bone Marrow transplant with you, but for now I'll let you celebrate."

She nodded as they thanked her, and she left the room.

After lunch the next day, Pacey, Joey and Harley met with Dr Epson in her office.

She explained to them what would be happening from here on in.

"Without this next stage of treatment, more than 70 of Leukaemia sufferers will relapse within a few months." Dr Epson explained. "Just because there are no cancer cells detectable, doesn't mean there aren't still some there. That is why we continue chemotherapy for a few months, although in a smaller and less aggressive dose, and we will also be running a course of radiation therapy."

The three Witter's present nodded, and then Pacey spoke up.

"So…what happens after that?"

Dr Epson nodded, and then spoke slowly, choosing her words carefully.

"Well, even after the second phase of treatment, the reality is, many childhood Leukaemia sufferers relapse at some point. About 90 of the time, when a patient relapses, the cancer is much more widespread and aggressive than the first time, and is usually only treatable to a certain extent. In most cases, the sufferer's best chance is a Bone Marrow Transplant."

The Witter's continued to listen, so the doctor continued to talk.

"This can be done in two ways, an autologous transplant, where the marrow is removed from the sufferer and then re-transplanted later, or an allogeneic transplant, where marrow is donated, usually from a family member with the same blood and/or tissue type. But I'll explain more if and when we get to that. For now, I would like Harley to undergo chemotherapy two days a week for two weeks as an outpatient, and then have three weeks off. We will repeat this process four times, after which she will undergo an hour of radiotherapy every weekday for four weeks. We will do another bone marrow test after the radiation sessions are complete, and further discuss whether or not a transplant would be beneficial."

Pacey and Harley nodded, trying to process the information, but Joey, who had a deeper understanding of what the doctor was saying, spoke up.  
"You say you would like Harley to undergo the chemo as an outpatient, you mean we can go home?"

Pacey looked at Joey.

Dr Epson smiled. "Yes, you can go home. Harley will have to return to the hospital on the days she has chemotherapy, but you can remain at home the rest of the time. We will look at living arrangements again before the commencement of the radiotherapy but for the next three to four months you can live at home again! I will discharge Harley on Wednesday."

Harley couldn't believe it. She could go home in two days time! Relief washed over Pacey and Joey as they realised that they could begin to get some normality back into their lives, which had been thrown into chaos.

On Wednesday afternoon everyone had gathered round the Potter's to welcome the Witter family home.

Harley was in tears she couldn't believe after months of fight here she was at home. Joey turned to Pacey and said "Live is great" He Kissed her and said "Yeah it is"

Later that evening Harley and Josh had fallen asleep Bessie was going to put Alex to bed. Gretchen decided to go down the icehouse with Dawson and Jen. Joey and Pacey were lying on the couch still in shock that they had their little girl home. Pacey said "Would you like when Harley's all clear to take the kids sailing down where we went that MAGICAL 3 months" Joey replied "Pace I love that more than anything cause it's one holiday they will never forget just like I ain't". She turned and kissed him it was light than began to grow deeper and more passionate. He pulled her into the bedroom and they rediscovered each other.

Next morning Pacey woke to find another pair of arms wrapped around him, his arms wrapped around another body. He jumped up, then smiled and sank back down under the covers, pulling the 'other body' close to him, as he remembered where he was, and that, yes, Joey was sleeping by his side. After so many months of chaos and uncertainty, normality felt rather strange!

He kissed Joey gently on the cheek as she began to stir.  
"Good morning beautiful. Sleep well?"  
"Mmm, yes, I only ever sleep well when you're holding me" Joey said

One week, and many visits from neighbours and offers of support later, Harley was back at the hospital for her next chemo treatment, the first in the second stage of her treatment.

For Harley, it had come around far too soon. But she was comforted by the fact that she was only in hospital for the day, overnight at the most, and that she could go home to her own bed and her own room within the next day or so.

As the four of them walked through the doors into the oncology ward Dr Epson and the nurses greeted them.  
After Dr Epson settled them into the outpatient section of the ward, she connected Harley to the chemo drip through the central line, which would remain inside her, even though she was not having the chemo as often, until the conclusion of her treatment. It saved a lot of time and pain for all involved, especially Harley.

"Now, the drugs involved in this lot of chemo are not nearly as strong as the ones you've been having over the past couple of months, so I would expect that you won't react too badly too them. However, I've still hooked up some anti-nausea drugs just in case, and I'll write a prescription for some medication to have at home, just to settle your stomach if you do start to feel nauseous, and also one for some painkillers." The doctor explained, scribbling on her prescription pad and passed the scripts to Pacey.

"Get these filled as soon as possible, there should be enough medication in each packet to last for the duration of the four cycles of chemo."  
"Thanks doctor," Joey smiled.  
"No problems, it's my job. I'll leave you to it then. I'll be back in an hour to check up on you, Harley. In the meantime, just lay back and try to relax."  
Harley nodded. "Thanks."  
"You're very welcome." The doctor smiled, before leaving the room

Back in the outpatient ward of the hospital, Harley was beginning to feel increasingly drowsy, like someone was pumping her with some sort of powerful sedative, while draining her body of all its energy at the same time.

Her forehead felt clammy as it beaded with sweat, yet she was shivering with cold.

"Are you ok, sweetheart?" Joey asked, spying the moisture, which adorned the small girl's forehead, and gently dabbing at it with a cloth.  
"Yeah…" Harley murmured. "talk to me."  
"Why? What's the matter?" Joey asked, trying to swallow her sudden panic.  
Harley replied, reassuringly. "it is good."

Joey looked at Pacey. He smiled encouragingly and placed his hands gently on her shoulders. She reached one arm across her body, and placed her hand atop her husbands, looping Harley's pale little fingers through her other. She began to talk. Harley let the words wash over her like a song.

She talked about when she was little and how she hated Pacey. The story of how they got together. The time the spend on the boat and finally, words of encouragement and support.  
Harley felt her body began to relax as she listen to Joey talk, the soothing sound of her voice seeming to numb the pain somewhat. The cool breeze from the slightly open window danced across her face as she dreamed…dreamed of what life would be like after all this, a life free from sickness, a happy life, with her family.

When Joey felt Harley's hand fall limp in hers, she knew she had finally fallen asleep. She carefully unlaced her fingers from Harley's and quietly moved away from the bed.  
Pacey moved up behind her, sliding his arms around her waist, and resting his hands on her ever so slightly rounded stomach. She felt the weight of his chin on her shoulder as she covered his hands with her own.  
He kissed her on the cheek. Joey smiled at his careful touch, relaxing into his arms. After a minute, she turned and hugged him tight, arms wrapped around his waist, head snuggled into his chest.  
She closed her eyes. "I love you," she murmured, out of the blue.  
Pacey held her closer and kissed her on the top of her head, drinking in her familiar scent. He gently stroked the back of her head, his hand coming to rest between her shoulder blades.  
"I love you too," he replied softly. Joey looked up and brushed her lips gently over his, then rested her head back against his chest.

Later that night, Pacey and Joey were allowed to take Harley home. She was sound asleep in the back of the car by the time they got home, so Joey held the front door open while Pacey carried Harley inside and tucked her carefully into bed. She didn't even stir.

Gretchen and Bessie asked "How was it?" Pacey Replied "Good cause we can come home at the end of the day"  
Tucked up safely in her bed, Harley slept soundly, as the chemotherapy drugs worked to attack the cancer cells that threatened her life.

Harley recovered well from that first dose of chemo in the second phase of her treatment, and now, almost five months later, she was completing the last dose, and was scheduled to begin radiation therapy the following week.

Dr Epson entered the room.  
"How's everything going in here?" She smiled.  
"OK" Harley replied weakly

Dr Epson smiled. "Well, the good news is that you've now officially completed this round of chemotherapy, and should be totally ready to start radiation therapy next week."

"Well then, that's that. You're free to go in about an hour, once I've disconnected the drip and taken a blood sample. I'd like you to come up to the hospital in two days time to finalise arrangements for Harley's radiation treatment, and some more blood tests."  
"Thank you Doctor," Pacey replied gratefully.  
Another obstacle overcome, another hurdle jumped. They were beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Dr Epson greeted The Witter's on the Oncology Ward and into an office to explain

"In hospital today, they'll get you to put on a special gown, and then take you into a small room with a lot of big looking machinery. Daddy and mommy won't be able to come into the room with you, because the radiation is dangerous for people with, well, people with 'healthy' cells. "

Harley put her head into Pacey's chest

"Don't worry, though, you will still be able to see them. There is a glass wall down one side of the room, so they can wait on the other side of it. You will be able to see each other the whole time."

Harley lightly let her head appear again

"Now, once you are in the room, the radiologist will help you lay in the special mould you made the other day, you know when we took you to the hospital and you had to lay in that funny squishy thing?" Harley nodded, remembering how her body had left an indent in the purple rubbery mould. The doctor had told her that they had to make it so that her body would lay in the same position Everytime she had radiotherapy, to make sure the beams hit the right spots. "Then all you have to do is lay there for about an hour, while the radiation beams are aimed on you. You most likely won't even feel a thing, maybe a warm prickly sensation at the most, certainly nothing like the chemo. Afterwards you might feel tired, and sore, sort of like you've been sunburnt, but it won't make you nearly as sick as the chemo did."

Dr Epson smiled and led the Witter's down the corridor to the elevators, where they proceeded to the next floor. When the lift doors swished open, they entered onto a very sterile-looking and quiet ward.

"Mr and Mrs Witter, if I could ask you to take a seat over there, and Harley come with me here," Dr Epson motioned toward a door on her right, "we'll get you prepared, and then I'll show you into the room."

Harley looked at her Daddy, a slight hint of panic in her eyes.

Dr Epson smiled. "It's ok, I'll show your mommy and daddy through to the observation window."

A few seconds later, the machines whirred to life, and Harley stiffened slightly. Pacey and Joey watched the beams penetrating their daughters body, and noticed she began to relax as she realised that it was just like Doctor had told her, and not painful at all. In fact, she wondered if it was doing her any good at all, it certainly seemed to be having no immediate impact on her.

The time went rather quickly, and before she knew it, Harley was dressed and back in the car on her way home.  
Harley continued the radiation treatment over the next couple of weeks, glad of the reprieve that the weekends brought, but counting down the days to her last session.  
She had been pretty lucky, as far as side effects from the radiation were concerned, suffering only the exhaustion, and a few minor burns, nothing worse than mild sunburn.

Three days later, the Witter returned home after Harley's final session of radiotherapy.  
Unsure of what happens next the Doctor mentioned a Bone Marrow Transplant

Just over a week later, the Witter's found themselves back in Dr Epson's office. Harley fidgeted nervously on Pacey's lap as the doctor pored over her medical file. "Well, I'm very happy with how the radiation therapy went," she spoke finally. "And Harley 's blood results are very good."

All three breathed a sigh of relief.

"However, I still think that it would be in Harley's best interests to undergo a Bone Marrow Transplant. It would mean a tremendous decrease in the chance of relapse, which is extremely high in sufferers of childhood ALL, as well as dramatically increasing her chances of long term survival."

"Well…well, where will we find a donor?" Joey asked.

Dr Epson smiled. "That's the good news. I will be taking another bone marrow sample from Harley this afternoon, but I'm fairly confident that we will be able to perform an autologous transplant. If, as I suspect it is, Harley's bone marrow is in complete remission, we can extract some of her own marrow, treat it and freeze it. Then we would kill off all her remaining bone marrow with an extreme dose of chemotherapy, after which we transplant the frozen marrow back into Harley. If everything goes well, that bone marrow will regenerate and grow healthily, and will start producing normal, healthy cells again."

Planning the transplant would not happen overnight, though, as the doctor explained.

They would have to test Harley's bone marrow to confirm that she was compatible for an autologous transplant. Then the bone marrow would have to be extracted and treated. Harley would then have to start the high-dose chemo, straight after which she would receive the treated marrow, no time could be allowed for new cells to grow in between. During the chemo and transplant, Harley would be confined to an isolated room. It was imperative that she did not come into contact with any foreign bodies. Pacey and Joey would be allowed to be with her, but anyone else would have to visit from behind the clear plastic curtain, which would be zipped around her bed, almost as though she was living in a bubble.

Two days later, Pacey and Joey took Harley back to the hospital for their scheduled meeting with Dr Epson.  
She had the results of Harley's blood and Bone Marrow tests, which would determine whether or not she was able to undergo an autologous Bone Marrow Transplant, and, ultimately, re-claim her life.  
Dr Epson shuffled the papers and smiled.  
"Well, the good news is that Harley's bone marrow is in complete remission. This means that we will be able to extract it and use it for her own Transplant."

Joey and Pacey explaining Harley treatment to the rest of the family

"Before the BMT, Harley has to have some pretty intensive treatment to destroy what's left of her bone marrow, it's so strong that if they weren't putting marrow back into her, she would die pretty quickly,"

"After this treatment, and during the transplant, Harley's immune system will be like a baby's, practically non-existent," she continued. "She won't be able to fight infection, so there has to be absolutely no risk of germs. The BMT unit is pretty much a germ-free, lock-down unit. Pacey and me will be staying with Harley, Josh and Gretchen are the only others allowed in. When you do, though, they will have to wear gowns, gloves and face masks, the risk of infection is just so high, and any germ that gets to Harley could not only put the success of the transplant in danger, but it could ultimately kill Harley"

"So…so what happens next? With the actual transplant, I mean." Asked Gretchen

"In a week's time, Harley will be going into hospital for an operation to remove a portion of her existing Bone Marrow. The doctors will clean it and freeze it ready for use in the transplant," Pacey started. "Two days later, they start her on an extremely high dose of chemotherapy, for three days straight, 72 hours in total. It will probably make her pretty sick, a lot sicker than the strong chemo she started off with did."

"Then comes the transplant itself," Joey continued. "Day zero. The bone marrow is fed back into Harley through a drip. The doctor tests her blood every day after that for signs that the bone marrow is regenerating, and the healthy cell count is rising. If, after two weeks, there is little to no sign of any new cells…" she trailed off. "Then the transplant is declared a failure," Pacey finished.

Gretchen looked horrified. "But what happens then? What happens if it doesn't work?" Why couldn't life ever be simple? Joey averted her eyes. "Sometimes they can try again. Or they might try another round of chemo to keep the cancer cells under control… But anyway, we have to stay positive. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Hopefully we don't even have to think about it."

As the day of Harley operation drew closer, she tried to keep her spirits high, going about things as normally as possible. Pacey and Joey would take walks with her down to the marina and watch the boats. Watch Knicks on TV, Playstation anything to take her mind off hospital.

"She's going to be fine, Pace. Everything's going to be fine." Said Joey

Pacey found himself saying the same thing to Joey a few days later, as Harley was being wheeled away to surgery. "Come on," Pacey soothed, putting an arm around her and placing a kiss on her temple. " She's going to be fine. Today's nothing, it's next week we need the energy for."

A little while later, Dr Epson emerged to tell them that the operation had been a complete success, and that they'd removed plenty of bone marrow, which had now gone into storage in preparation for the Transplant. It was thumbs up for the start of the preparation treatment in two days time.

Joey and Pacey were right by Harley's side as she began to stir out of the anaesthetic.

"Mommy Daddy" she said groggily  
Pacey and Joey stayed, watching over her as she slept, willing her to be filled with the energy to fight the battles of the next few days, the next few weeks, and the strength to get her life back on track again.

Harley recovered from the operation quickly and the day, which she had been dreading, arrived way too soon for her liking.

Dr Epson accompanied Pacey, Joey and Harley to the BMT ward.

To Harley, it felt like a jail. It looked like a regular ward, just even more sterile, and even quieter.  
The room in which she was to spend the next few weeks looked pretty much like a normal hospital room, except for a heavy glass sliding door, which replaced the entrance. The presence of the clear plastic 'bubble' which was slid back against the wall at the moment, but which Harley knew would be encasing her in a world of her own before too long.

After Dr Epson settled Harley into the bed, she wheeled in the drip stand, from which hung a potentially lethal dose of poison.

Harley eyed off the drip stand as Dr Epson pulled Pacey and Joey aside.  
"I know I've gone over this with you both, but are there any other questions either of you have before we start?"  
Joey looked at Pacey.  
"You said that the side effects of this chemo can be pretty extreme, what should we expect?" Pacey asked.  
Dr Epson shook her head. "It's down to the individual. Unfortunately, most people do suffer some pretty strong effects. Vomiting, often quite violently, diarrhoea, joint and muscular pain, headaches…patients also often suffer delusions and hallucinations."

Pacey and Joey exchanged worried glances.  
"It might not get as bad as that…but I'd just be prepared. This treatment is extremely potent. If the truth be told, Harley probably won't remember much of the next few days at all."

Dr Epson fiddled with the drip stand next to them. Pacey joined Joey sitting on the bed next to Harley. He hugged his daughter, trying to blink back tears from his eyes.  
"You're going to be fine sweetie," he said. "You're going to be fine," he repeated, in a whisper. He let go of Harley, and stood up with Joey, moving away from the bed to allow the doctor to connect the chemo drip to Harley's central line. He slid an arm around Joey, as Harley nervously watched the lurid liquid begin its journey down the clear tube, and into her frail body.  
Dr Epson checked and double-checked that the lines were running smoothly, and that the drip was adjusted to exactly the right settings, before she left the room, sliding the heavy glass door tightly shut behind her.

Pacey and Joey sat down on the chairs across the room from Harley. She wrinkled up her nose at the stench of the chemo. "That smells," she said Pacey laughed  
Joey nodded. "It's a lot stronger," she couldn't help thinking to herself that if the smell alone was that bad, she would hate to imagine what it was doing to the inside of Harley's body.  
Within ten minutes of the start of the chemo, Harley began to feel nauseous. Pacey passed her the metal bowl, just in case.

Before long, Harley had started to vomit. Pacey rubbed her back trying to soothed the pain.

After a short while, Harley had nothing left inside her to throw up, but her stomach continued to try and purge itself of the drugs being forced into it. The acid from her stomach burnt her throat as it made its way up, and showed no sign of stopping.  
As the day drew on, Harley became increasingly more ill. All she wanted to do was scream, but she didn't have the energy. Every movement caused her an agonising amount of pain, and the motion made her feel sick again. She had never felt like this in her life, and never wanted to feel like this again.

She felt as though every bone in her body was on fire as the burning pain spread throughout her. She could hear the voices of people talking, and sense the movement, but their figures were all a blur as she drifted in and out of sleep and consciousness.  
Her head felt as though it would explode as she felt another wave of nausea. She groped around for the basin so she could be sick. Someone passed it to her. 'Probably daddy,' she thought to herself. She couldn't make out the faces. All she knew was that she needed to be sick, and she needed to be sick now.

She lay back on her pillows and felt a cool touch on her forehead. 'Hmm, that feels nice,' she thought to herself. She wondered vaguely who or what it was. But it soothed the stabbing pain behind her eyes, so she didn't care.

Pacey decided to go home to check on Josh and Joey said "I'll be OK"

Joey was keeping a close eye on Harley. She was sleeping restlessly, but suddenly she opened her eyes. She looked around the room for a minute, before her eyes seemed to concentrate on something in the corner, and she screamed.  
Joey jumped up.

"HELP" she yelled, cowering in the corner of her bed.  
"What?" Joey asked, confused. She looked behind her, but there was nothing there.  
"HELP ME! MONSTERS!" She was starting to panic.  
"Harley, sweetie, what's wrong, what's trying to get you?" Joey asked, trying to stay calm. She pressed the buzzer near her bed.  
"WHO IS YOU? HELP ME - DON'T HURT ME!"  
Joey climbed on the bed next to Harley and cradled her in his arms, rocking her back and forth.  
"Shush, sweetheart. It's ok you're safe here. It's ok," Joey soothed.  
Harley continued to cry, almost hysterically.  
"NO! NO! no hurt me, please…no come near me," she ducked and curled against Joey, almost as if she was trying to shield herself from something. "Mommy?"

"Sweetheart mommy is here" Joey said Harley looked up at her, a bewildered look on her face.  
"I need Mommy, hurt me." "Harley baby mommy right here and I ain't going to let anyone hurt you" Joey said rocking her daughter to try and get her calm.

Harley ducked her head once more. "QUICK,DOWN! HURT YOU TOO!"  
Joey looked up as the door opened.  
"How's the patient?" the night duty nurse smiled, closing the door behind her.  
"COMING!" Harley yelled out to the nurse, frustrated that nobody could seem to realise the danger that they were in. How could they all be so calm?

As she yelled, a blinding pain shot through her eyes. She squeezed them tight shut until the pain subsided. When she opened them, the room swam hazily before her. A blurred blob of whiteness hovered near the edge of her bed. She tilted her head, eyes wide. "Angel?" she whispered, as docile as a lamb.  
The nurse looked at Joey, who held Harley tight against her.  
"I think she's slightly deluded, she's been hallucinating for a little while now," she said, unable to hide the concern in her voice. The nurse nodded and scribbled on the chart hanging from Harley's bed. She pulled a thermometer from the case she was carrying, and popped it in Harley's mouth. Harley spat it out. "No lollies off strangers." Joey laughed "that's my daughter for you"

The nurse smiled kindly. "It's ok, pet. I'm not a stranger, I'm a nurse, and I have to put this in your mouth to take your temperature and make sure you're alright."  
Harley's eyes were misted over. "Ok," she replied, strangely calm again. She sat still while the nurse took her temperature. "She has a slight fever. I'll try and get some fluids into her. Just try not to let her move around too much, although she probably can't feel much pain at the moment, we can't afford for any of the tubes or lines to be disturbed."

Joey nodded and kissed Harley on the forehead. She snuggled into her and sighed, closing her eyes. Rocking her back and forth, Joey sent up a silent prayer to God, to anyone listening, that her daughter would be ok. This was only night one, they had another two days of this to get through.

The next morning, Pacey arrived at the hospital early. The nurse let him into the room, and Pacey smiled sadly to himself.  
Joey was asleep, sitting cross-legged on Harley's bed, her head rested against their pale, ill daughter's. She was cradling a sleeping Harley in her arms.

Pacey made his way over to the bed and leaned over, softly kissing Joey on the cheek. He ran his thumb gently down Harley's cheek. She felt warm to touch, and shivered slightly at the presence of Pacey's hand on her face.

Joey stirred slightly. "Pace?" She mumbled sleepily. "Pace?"  
Pacey moved his hand from Harley's face to hers.  
"Shush…it's ok, Jo, I'm here now." Joey sighed, a contented smile now present on her sleeping face.  
"I love you." Joey smiled. "I love you too," he whispered.

Later on that morning, Pacey and Joey were sitting talking when Harley stirred.  
"Mummy?" she murmured.  
"She's been doing that all night. When she was hallucinating, she kept saying that she had lost her mummy and had to find her," she walked to her side, Pacey not far behind . "Even tho I was sitting with her she had problems believe me" she whispered "Don't worry you heard what the doctor said she wont remember it" he replied

The next few hours were long and painful, physically for Harley, emotionally for Pacey and Joey.  
Harley was vomiting again, but, having eaten nothing solid in the past 24 hours, largely because she could not keep anything down, it was placing a great deal of strain on her stomach. Everytime her stomach heaved, she cried out in pain.

She recognised faces again, however, for the time being. Her eyes weren't working too well, but she knew her daddy and mommy were both there with her.  
She moved her tongue slowly across her dry, cracked lips, and opened her mouth to speak.  
"Daddy? mommy?" she croaked. They hurried to her side. "Water?"  
Joey poured her a small glass of liquid from the jug beside her bed, while Pacey put a hand to her forehead again. "She's a bit cooler," he told Joey, taking the glass of water and helping Harley to take a sip.  
"That's a good sign then, I guess," Joey replied. Pacey nodded, just as the nurse let herself into the room.  
"How's our girl this afternoon?" she asked. "As good as can be expected, I guess. She's cooled down slightly, and is starting to talk some sense again, which is a relief. But her stomach's still trying to throw up," Pacey replied.  
The nurse busied herself around, checking and adjusting Harley's drips.

The following afternoon, the atmosphere in room 8 of the BMT ward at Capeside Hospital was apprehensive and filled with the air of anticipation.  
There were less than 24 hours until the start of Harley's transplant.  
Harley was continuing to battle through the intensive chemotherapy, and Dr Epson was pleased with her progress. But still, neither Pacey nor Joey had ever seen someone so very ill.  
Within Harley's head, a million thoughts raced. She had given up trying to talk as it hurt too much. It was taking every ounce of her energy to focus on breathing right now. She had to concentrate really hard to get her chest to work, and every inhalation made her lungs feel as if they were about to burst with the pain.  
Joey and Pacey remained by her bedside. Joey rested her head on Pacey's shoulder, as her heart broke, watching their little girl struggling for breath.

Early the next morning, Dr Epson and a nurse arrived to disconnect the chemo drip from Harley's frail body. She'd had a bit of a fever again during the night, but, other than that, had slept through the majority of the last twelve or so hours. As the doctor unclipped the last of the tubes, she smiled at Harley.  
"There we go, all over." Harley managed a weak smile. "OK."  
Dr Epson explained to Joey and Pacey that she would be taking Harley for a scan, just to check that the chemo had done it's job, before commencing the Bone Marrow Transplant around lunch time, they couldn't allow too much time in between the chemo and the transplant.

Harley looked at Pacey, and struggled to talk.  
"Daddy? Come…" she closed her eyes and swallowed painfully.

"Do you want Dad to come with you?" Dr Epson asked kindly, and Harley gave a small nod. She looked at Pacey. "Is that ok?" he asked. "Sure," she replied kindly.

Pacey turned back to his daughter. The doctor was attaching a surgical mask to her face; even a trip down the hallway was a huge risk, with the extreme weakened state her immune system was currently in.  
As Dr Epson and the nurse-on-duty went to slide Harley from her bed onto the trolley, she screamed in agony. Pacey rushed to her side. "Sweetheart! What's wrong?"

Harley just sobbed in pain. Dr Epson looked at Pacey. "It's very painful for her to move or be moved at the moment. The strength of the chemo affects everything. And as that kind of dosage is designed to kill off Bone Marrow, it is bound to cause pain within the bones, especially the hips, where the marrow is at its densest."

Harley let out another painful cry at the doctor's touch.  
"But she must be in an awful lot of pain, she usually takes everything on the chin, she's hardly complained at all through this whole thing. For her to cry like that she must really be hurting."  
'Yes,' Harley's head cried, 'He's right! Don't touch me, please, just this once. Leave me alone. Please just let me be!'  
Dr Epson shook her head. "I know, and I'm really sorry, but we have to do this."  
Pacey turned away as the doctor and nurse transported his daughter from her bed to the trolley in one swift movement. She let out a heartbreaking scream as they did so, and Pacey felt his own heart shatter. He hated watching her in this much pain, and would have given anything to take it all away from her.  
The nurse closed the door of the room tight, and Pacey followed them down the hall.  
When they reached their destination, Pacey realised, just as Harley did, that she would have to be moved again, onto the x-ray table used during the scan.  
"Daddy!" she cried out, her small voice muffled beneath the mask, which covered her mouth. Pacey took her hand. "Don't hurt me," she whispered. "Please Daddy, don't hurt me."  
The fear in her small voice wrenched at Pacey's heart once again. He desperately wished that he could take her in his arms, protect her from the world, but he couldn't. He desperately wished he could change the hand that fate had dealt her, protect her from the pain, but he couldn't. He desperately wished that he could make it all better, protect her from her own fate, but he couldn't.

"It's ok sweetheart. Be strong, ok? Can you do that for me? Just close your eyes and be strong. Think of seeing the Knicks and trip we are going to take on the boat!. I know you can do this, Har, you're brave." Harley closed her eyes and used all the strength she could muster to give her dad's hand a tight squeeze, as the radiologist and the doctor slid her onto the table. Pain exploded through her weakened body, but she forced it out of her mind, trying to clear her head, and think positive thoughts.

Back at the hospital, Dr Epson was busy preparing the bags of Harley's Bone Marrow for the transplant. Harley was lying with her eyes closed, but the doctor was talking to Pacey.

"Now, we call today 'Day Zero'. Some people even think of day zero of their BMT as their second birthday, in a way I guess it is. All the bad cells that have been making you sick have been destroyed, and now you are going to get new ones. Hopefully after all this you will have a whole new person."

Dr Epson hooked two bags up to the drip stand next to Harley's bed. One held the deep red Marrow, the life saving marrow. The other clear bag held a dosage of antibiotics, which would act as an anti-rejection drug, to assist Harley's body in accepting the Bone Marrow back.  
"Ok, all set?" Dr Epson asked.  
Harley nodded. "The sooner we start, the sooner, I can see the Knicks."  
The doctor smiled. She was very pleased for them all, 'this family deserves a bit of good luck', she thought to herself as she connected the final tube. The life-saving red substance began to flow.

Day Zero had officially begun.

Gretchen had phoned and asked Joey how Harley was.

"Har's asleep, absolutely sound asleep. Dr Epson is going to take a blood test later on to do a cell count, not that they expect anything to have happened yet. It's just so they can get an idea of initial cell numbers, and check if they are increasing as they should over the couple of weeks."

"OK I tell everyone tell her we are all thinking of her and can't wait for her to come home" she told Joey

Mary had come to see Harley and tell her everything was going to be OK  
Just as Pacey was seeing her off down the elevator, Dr Epson arrived to take a blood sample from Harley.

"How are you feeling today?" she asked kindly.

"Not too bad, I guess. Really tired, and still kind of nauseous from the chemo, but nothing from the transplant."  
"It is a bit of an anti-cliPacey, isn't it? It'll be like that for about the next ten days. We start to look for signs of an increase in the white cells from 10-21 days after the transplant."  
"And if the numbers don't rise?" Pacey asked.  
"That's when we have to pronounce the transplant as a failure, meaning that Harley's body has rejected the marrow. There is also a risk of graft versus host disease, and fungal or bacterial infections, that's why the isolation rules are so strict."

As the days continued to pass, thoughts began to turn to the results of Harley's transplant. It had now been ten days, and it was time for the first official cell count. The whole family was there in the afternoon, when Dr Epson brought back the results.

Dr Epson cleared her throat and began to speak. "The blood tests show definite evidence of engraftment, meaning that the bone marrow cells have reached critical mass, allowing the white cell count to rise," she paused for a moment, before adding, "The white cell count is what we are interested in at the moment."  
The Witter's nodded, but sensed the doctor's unease.  
"But…" Pacey prompted.  
The doctor sighed. "But there is little substantiation of a rise in Harley's white cell count as yet, not as much as I would have hoped, anyway."  
Pacey and Joey exchanged a worried glance, which didn't go unnoticed by the doctor.  
"Don't worry, though. It's still early days as far as we're concerned. Most of the cell growth takes place between days 10 and 21, and we've only just gone day 10. We'll just be monitoring the count progress very carefully over the next week or two."

Pacey and Joey asked a few questions, and then Dr Epson left. Harley pounded her fists on the sheets angrily.  
"It's not fair! I've tried so hard and I thought I was getting better! Instead I just always seem to make things harder for everyone!"  
"Hey! That's not true!" Joey replied sharply, walking over to Harley's bed and putting an arm around her. "It's just a hiccup, things will start to get better over the next few days, I'm sure of it."

The days continued to go by. Each day, the Witter's got their hopes up for some good news, and each day they were let down.

By Day 18 after the transplant, they were beginning to lose hope. Sure, Harley's white cell count wasn't zero, but it was nowhere near what it should have been by this time. Each day the doctor drew blood, each day the pathologist examined it under the microscope, looking for signs of a dramatic increase in cell numbers. Each day Dr Epson and the Witter's crossed their fingers, and each day the pathologist gave the same reply.  
"Nothing."

It was now the 20th night after Harley's transplant. That afternoon's blood results had again been a let down. Although they showed a slight increase, Harley's white cell count was still not high enough for the transplant to be declared a success by the following day.  
The mood was subdued at the hospital, as Harley lay in bed, trying to fall asleep, and Pacey sat beside her, and at Potter House, as Joey lay curled up on the lounge, lost in thought, while Josh lay flat on his back in his bedroom, staring at the ceiling.  
None of them had thought that it would come to this. But if a miracle didn't occur by tomorrow, then the transplant would officially be declared as a failure. It would be confirmed that Harley's body had rejected its own Marrow, and where their lives went from there…well, that was anyone's guess.

Day 21. D-Day. Everyone awoke at their respective locations with little hope for the day ahead.  
Joey woke up and rolling over to face the side of the bed where Pacey usually slept.  
She stretched out her arm and sighed, running her hand over the cold sheets on the opposite side of the bed. If Pacey were there now, she knew that he would kiss her softly on the temple, and pull her close, wrapping his arms tight around her. She would rest her head against his chest, and he would stroke her hair until she drifted back to sleep.  
Sighing again, she rolled onto her back, and closed her eyes, willing herself to succumb to the sleep she needed.  
Pacey rolled onto his side and looked over at Harley. Her eyes were closed, but he could tell she was awake from the way she was breathing. He decided to leave her be, and rolled back over, wishing that Joey was beside him. If she were there now, he would kiss her gently on the temple, and wrap his arms around her, hugging her tight. He knew she would then snuggle close, resting her head against his chest, where he would stroke her hair until she fell asleep. He would drop off not long after.  
He sighed and settled back on his pillows, sleep now the last thing on his mind.Josh gave up trying to sleep, and opened his door with a creak. He quietly walked down the hall towards Joey's room, and was just about there when Joey came out, closing the door behind her.  
"Thought I heard you get up," she smiled.  
"Yeah, sorry," Josh looked at the floor. Joey shook her head. "I was awake anyway, I couldn't get back to sleep. You had a rough night too?" Josh nodded. "I couldn't stop thinking about Harley," he admitted.  
Joey smiled sadly. "Me either," she hugged Josh tight as they both welled up with tears.  
Hot, salty tears spilled down Josh's face, as Joey sobbed against him. She rubbed his back.  
"Look at us, will you?" she laughed half-heartedly through her tears. "Hey. Remember, whatever happens today, we've all got each other, and we have to be there for each other."  
Josh nodded, wiping his eyes furiously.  
"Promise me something?" Joey looked up at Josh. Placing a hand on his shoulder she rubbed his arm reassuringly. "What?"  
"Don't bottle up how you're feeling ok? Sometimes you just have to let it all out. And you know I'm here for you, you know you can talk to me about anything you want or need to, don't you?" Josh nodded. "Thanks Mom".  
Joey, and Josh arrived at the hospital just as Dr Epson was drawing blood to test.  
"Hi guys," she smiled as they entered the room. Pacey kissed Joey hello.  
"Ok, that's done. I'll take this off to the pathologist to be examined." "Truthfully," Pacey started, "what are the chances of the cell count being high enough to declare the transplant as a success?"  
"Well, Harley, in herself, has recovered well from the transplant. And it's not that her white cells haven't risen at all, her Lymphocyte and Monocyte white cell levels are now satisfactory, as are the platelet levels, which are usually the last to recover. Our biggest concern is one of the other white cells, the Neurophil's. The number of Neurophil cells should be well up into the thousands, hundreds of thousands even, yet we can't find evidence of any at all within Harley's blood and marrow system."

Pacey and Joey nodded as the doctor continued.  
"Once the cells start to appear, they will steadily increase in number. The fact that Harley doesn't seem to have developed any new Neurophil's is of concern." Harley looked down at the sheets, and Josh put an arm around her. "It's going to be ok," he whispered.

The Witter's spent the morning with Harley as usual, although the mood was somewhat submissive.  
Down in the labs, the pathologist adjusted the slide on the microscope, and squinted into the lens. He pulled back slightly, and fiddled with the magnification dials, before leaning back in to the device, and placing his eye against the firm black rubber surrounding the lens.  
Frowning slightly, he increased the magnification once more.  
"Uh, Tonya?" he called out to Dr Epson, gesturing for her to join him. "I think you'd better come and take a look at this…"  
"What is it?" Dr Epson asked, her brow creased, as she made her way over to where the pathologist was fiddling with the dials on the microscope. "See for yourself."  
Dr Epson looked suspiciously at the pathologist, but bent over the microscope and pressed her eye to the lens. She let out a gasp. There amongst the sea of red lay a small scattering of large pinkish-white cells.  
"I don't believe it!" Dr Epson breathed. "They're…" "Neurophil's," the pathologist finished for her, a triumphant smile spreading across his face.

Dr Epson entered Harley's room, clutching a piece of paper, and the Witter's all looked up, trying to read her face. She passed the paper to Joey. It was a magnified print out of the slide that she had just viewed in the pathology lab. Pacey, Josh and Harley gathered round  
"What's this?" Joey asked, somewhat confused.  
"That is a close up view of the blood content in Harley's bone marrow." "Ok, so…what are all these blobby things?" Joey asked, still confused.  
Dr Epson smiled. "Well, these are red blood cells and platelets," she pointed to the small, round red cells. "These funny looking ones are Lymphocytes and Monocytes, two types of white blood cells."  
Joey nodded, and then pointed to some roughly circular pale pink cells. "So what are these ones then?"  
Pacey covered Harley's hand with his own, crossing their fingers. Dr Epson tried to suppress a grin. It was hard not to become personally attached to a patient, especially when you had been looking after them for as long as she had been Harley. She was so excited, happy and relieved to be able to finally give her some good news.  
"You know those cells we talked about this morning? Those really important ones that we couldn't find in Harley's blood?"  
Joey nodded, holding her breath for what was to come next. Dr Epson simply tapped her finger on the oddly shaped cells.  
Joey looked up at her, eyes wide. "You mean…" "Uh-huh!" Dr Epson smiled as Pacey and Joey hugged each other tight. "That's one right there, and there too, and there's another couple over there. Not many, but the numbers will rise pretty quickly now."  
Joey grabbed Harley into a hug, as did Josh, and Pacey wrapped his arms around the lot of them. They were all laughing and crying with relief, the laughter continuing as Joey squeezed Harley exclaiming "trust you to leave us hanging till the last minute, baby"

Over the next few days, Harley's Neurophil numbers continued to increase rapidly, until, on the 28th day, Dr Epson had some wonderful news for the Witter's.

Pacey gripped Joey's hand, and she held Harley's with her other. Josh took Harley's free hand, giving it a tight squeeze, despite the feeling of apprehension taking over him.  
Dr Epson cleared her throat and shuffled her notes, Harley had noticed she always did this before giving her any sort of news, and it seemed to drag the process out, especially when you were as nervous as she was feeling at that very moment.

Finally, Dr Epson had her papers in order, and began to speak, a hint of a smile on her lips.  
"I'm so pleased to be able to finally tell you this," she started. Harley shivered with excitement, as Pacey and Joey exchanged hopeful glances. "Harley, the transplant has been a total success, there is not a trace of the cancer in your body, your bone marrow and the cells that make it up are healthy and satisfactory in number, I'm happy to give you a clean bill of health. The fight is finally over, and you won it!"  
Harley burst into tears as Joey, Pacey and Josh hugged her.

"Congratulations." Dr Epson smiled at the sight of the overjoyed family in front of her.  
After a few minutes, everyone settled themselves down, and Pacey spoke up.  
"So…what happens now?"  
Dr Epson nodded. "Well, the first thing is to build Harley's immune system back up, and get all her muscles working again, laying in bed for so long, the muscles start to waste. In the next couple of days, we will start taking her for short walks around the hospital; she will have to wear a surgical mask, though, because the risk of infection is still high. She's just about finished the antibiotics, but we have to make sure she's eating and drinking properly again before we can let her go, I'd estimate that we will be sending her home by early next week."  
The Witter's nodded, beaming, still trying to absorb the fantastic news.  
"After we discharge you, though, Harley, you will still have to wear a face mask in public places, such as shopping centres or Knicks games (she smiled) for a few weeks, and you'll also have another course of antibiotics to complete at home. You'll have to take it easy for a while, but I'd suggest trying to do small amounts of exercise, like going for a short walk every now and again, to start building up your strength."  
"Ok," Harley replied. The doctor looked back at Pacey and Joey. "She'll have to have follow-up appointments once a month for six months, then once every three months, once every six months, and, eventually, once a year. But, for now, I'd say it's time to celebrate"

The next day, Dr Epson came to get Harley out of bed properly for the first time in weeks.  
Harley was a bit apprehensive; after all the four walls of this room were all she had known for over a month. She pushed back the crisp white sheets of the hospital bed, which had been her safety zone, and Dr Epson helped her to sit up and swing her legs around so that they dangled over the side of the bed.  
"We'll just start off with a few steps today, but we'll go further and further every day until you're running a marathon!" Dr Epson joked. Joey slid Harley's slippers onto her feet then Pacey took one of her arms, Dr Epson the other, and they pulled her gently forward until her feet touched the ground.  
Harley winced a little as she straightened into a standing position. Her legs were shaky and tingly, but she was determined to do this. She gripped onto Pacey and Dr Epson's arms and took one wobbly step forward with her left foot, and then brought her right foot up to meet it.  
Joey stood facing her, walking backwards, the aim being to catch Harley if she fell. As Harley took that first shaky step towards her, she beamed. "Well done, Princess!" she exclaimed. Dr Epson nodded and smiled. "Ok, good girl. Now try the other foot, keep walking towards mommy."  
Joey shuffled back a little to give Harley room to take a few more steps.  
Harley took another slow step towards her, then another, and another. When she reached Joey, she wrapped her arms around her tight, and Joey hugged her back. "You don't know how good it is to give you a proper cuddle!" Joey exclaimed, as she held the little girl tight. They helped her walk back to the bed, and she climbed in, the few steps across the room and back had exhausted her, and for the first time she realised just how weak she was, and how much work she had to do to get her strength back.  
But nothing could stop her now.  
The next day, Harley walked, supported by Pacey and the doctor, to the front desk of the ward and back to her room.

The following day, she did three quarters of a lap of the ward, and the day after that she managed a whole lap. Harley had slept for almost a whole 12 hours after that, but was extremely proud and satisfied with herself. Dr Epson was also monitoring her eating patterns. It was important for her to be eating properly and getting enough fluids before she was allowed to go home.  
The day after her big walk around the ward, she managed to eat a whole bowl of spaghetti for dinner, and Dr Epson was extremely happy, even more so when she got through half a bowl of ice-cream for dessert. As her appetite continued to return, Harley also began to feel better in herself. Pacey and Joey both noticed the improvement; they could see the old Harley returning. Slowly but surely, bit by bit, she was re-claiming her life.

One week and three days after Harley had been given a clean bill of health, Dr Epson returned with more good news. They all greeted Dr Epson as she knocked and entered the room.  
"Morning all!" she exclaimed. "What can we do for you?" Pacey asked.  
"Oh…I don't know…you could pack your bags and get out of here for starters, I guess."  
Harley's jaw dropped, and Pacey and Joey looked at each other in disbelief.

"What! You mean…" Harley stammered. "I mean we're kicking you out, now get moving girlie!"  
Harley pushed back her blankets and sat up, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed and onto the floor.  
"Baby…" Pacey started. "Daddy…" Harley warned in a 'let me be, I need to do this' kind of voice.  
She took a tentative step, unaided for the first time, towards her doctor. She took another few steps, gaining balance and confidence as she went, and, upon reaching her, wrapped a surprised Dr Epson into a hug.  
The doctor laughed and hugged her back. "Thank you so much," Harley said, looking at the doctor. "For everything, I really, really mean it."  
"Hey, that's my job! But you're a special little girl, and I'm so glad that everything has worked out for you." "So are we!" Joey smiled. "And can I just add my thanks to that? You've been an absolute hero through all of this. So thank you. We'll be forever in your debt." "Ah, that's what I'm here for!"  
"Well we are really thankful, even when it looked like everything was lost, you never gave up on Harley, and we really appreciate that," Pacey smiled. "Well what sort of doctor would I be if I didn't try my hardest?" she joked, pleased by their kind words, but trying to act modest. "As I said, I'm just glad everything has worked out for you guys, you deserve it. Now I'll leave you alone to get packed up and then I've got a whole heap of paperwork for you to sign, and after that you can finally go home!"  
Harley was so deliriously happy she thought she would faint. She could go home. Not eventually, not sometime in the future, but today.  
She was going home today!  
At 2.47pm that afternoon, the Witter's arrived home, for good. The trip home had pretty much wiped Harley out, so Joey made her comfy on the lounge with a stack of DVD's and Pacey had set up the Playstation just in case. With Josh at one end of the couch and Harley on the other Pacey and Joey looked on from the kitchen Pacey said "I always knew she was her mother stubborn and a really fighter" Joey said "I can't believe we are home for good" Pacey kissed her forehead.

"Harley are you ready?" Joey asked. "One minute I want to look nice" she replied from the bathroom "Pace do me a favour load up the car" Pacey and Joey sat in the front row with Kyle and Jessica (Joey and Pacey had twins 3 years after the all clear) Gretchen and Dawson with their daughter Isabelle. Jen with her husband Robert and their son Jake. Bessie with Alex.

Harley Started "Good afternoon Ladies and Gentleman Fellow Students I am VERY glad to stand up here today and be able to say I made it to my high school gradation. As some of you know I had leukaemia when I was Five and there were points when I thought I wouldn't see me 6th birthday. My family supported me and as my dad said "never gave up because he knew I had my mother's stubborn streak and am a fighter" I would them to know how grateful I am and how I thank god each day that I survived congratulations to everyone"


End file.
